High fructose corn syrup

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Kellogg's Frosted Flakes, one of the few cereals in the American marketplace that does not contain High Fructose Corn Syrup

High fructose corn syrup is a drug supplied to the United States government by the Cuban government for free. Cuba provides HFCS to Americans as part of a communist plan to get Americans to become tremendously overweight, have heart attacks, and die prematurely. The Cubans keep consuming that healthy cane sugar, thereby giving them more power.

High fructose corn syrup is so addictive that food companies add it to their products in order to keep consumers buying their food. Some products that frequently contain HFCS are: breakfast cereal, bread, salad dressing, mayonaise, ketchup, pasta, soft drinks, and many, many snacks.


High fructose corn syrup is made from the diarrhea of Cuban citizens. It is mixed with mercury and had petroleum added to give it its sweetness. The mercury obtained to make HFCS comes from the planet Mercury, and from there, it is piped to Cuba, which has the best access to the planet from all of Earth, then sent on ships with prisoners running at a chance for their freedom.

Things HFCS is[edit]


It is found everywhere. Don't you dare dress your salad!


Yes, it tastes so good. Much better than the cardboard those health nuts want to feed you.


One is never enough. Always more. More ketchup on your fries. More Oreo cookies. More store-bought lemonade.


It's in your cereal for breakfast. In your sandwich at lunch. Your sauce during dinner. In all your snacks. Dine out and you don't even know if you're getting it or not.

Consequences of consuming HFCS[edit]


Consuming HFCS leads to running out of money. This is because the substance is addictive, and leads consumers to buy more food and spend more money. The money will end up in the hands of the communists.


This is what people who consume HFCS ultimately look like

Your waistline will get so large, you will not be able to fit into your favorite clothes anymore.


150% of those who consume HFCS will eventually develop diabetes.

Heart attack[edit]

A heart attack. This is the way everyone who consumes HFCS eventually dies - that is, unless you change your evil ways.

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