The Hipplebliffiherper is a now extinct animal used by the Nazis in WWII to produce deadly sausages on the frontlines of battle. It is widely believed that the Hipplebliffiherper was discovered by Engle Stroplefluffenhopenshlopen three miles south of Salzburg, on the German Austrian border, in 1936.
Weapon of Inconceivable Power
By 1941 Adolf Hitler, Supreme Chief Big Cheese of the NAZI party, had realised the potential of this friendly yet dangerous animal's curious ability to creat 'Deadly Sausages' infested with Herpes. In a plan so devious that even Heinrich Himmler, commander of the German Scheissschnitzel (SS), reputedly wailed in anguish at the thought of Adolf's intended use of the Hipplebliffiherper. By the Cold winter standoff in Bastogne, Hitler had deployed hundreds of units of his Hipplebliffiherper army to the forest frontlines. The Hipplebliffiherper would then pepper the areas surrounding the Allies with delicious juicy looking bangers ready for the sizzling pan. The cold, tired and hungry Allied soldiers were overjoyed with such a gift from the innocent and friendly creature and readily feasted on its delicious natural produce. However the sausages were infested with one of the most henious forms of genital Herpes and many soldiers were unable to handle their weapons for the terrible itching. This consequently led to depleted firepower in many combat situations.
Adolf Hitler, and his first lieutenant argriculturist, Farmer Gilezenshmilezen, personally overlooked the cultivation of this rare creature. Through years of testing in Hitlers Berlin Bunker, they were able to create a most deadly strain of Herpes Sausages through a strict diet of tobacco, bananas and haribo goldenbears.
Farmer Gilezenshmilezen was eventually tried at Nuremberg for the sheer idiocy of feeding tobacco to pigs (a common misconception of what the Hipplebliffiherper actually was) and was subsequently sentenced to death. After the war ended the last of the Hipplebliffiherpers were destroyed and have not been seen since. It is now strongly believed that the Hipplebliffiherper is extinct. However as the saying goes, many Salzburg locals profess that 'Zer Ist Hipplebliffiherpers Een Zen Illz'.