History of Croatia

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There was this awesome Bosnian king and he was pwning Bulgarian peasants... but in the end, evil Hungary came and made Croats their bitches for the next thousand years. Occasionally, Hungary would invite her evil friend Austria to play with Croatia too! After many centuries of Hungarian and Austrian gang-bang , the most vile Serbia came, owned Austria and Hungary and made Croats their bitches. A few decades later, honorable Croatia grew tired of being everybody's bitch and, after getting everyone drunk, slaughtered a few hundred thousands of Serbs. That made those crazy Serbs angry, and Croatia became a bitch again. But then NATO Croatia liberated itself from drunk Serbian loosers. This loyalty has been preserved to this day. ]] But the Croatiam coast (i.e. Dalmatia) is different. Evil Hungarias were soon kicked off by ... evil Venetians. They made Croats their bitches as well.

Despite their ridicouls history, Crats thinks to be a country of brave warriors, who fiercly defended their ... freedom.

The End.

The greatest sons and daughters in Croatian History[edit]

National Hero
  • one of the greatest Croatians ever was Nikola Tesla, who invented electricity, lightnings, earthquakes, and future. He is most famous for his split hairdo and being a Serbian - An obscure SI physical unit that no-one ever uses was named after him.


  • former kickboxer/current mma fighter: Mirko Crocop Filipovic, the only unstoppable cyborg killing machine to come from Croatia. His left leg is made of pure energy and has been known to detach itself and fight crime while Mirko is sleeping.


  • award winning film making group: SpartakusKRV productions is the most provocative film making group in Croatian history. Their films have been praised by Mel Gibson, Pope John Paul II, Tom Hanks, and God. After the release of their first feature film The Slovenian Christmas Tree Mel Gibson was quoted as saying "I have never seen a movie such as this. No wonder Hollywood won't allow it on the big screen! It blows Passion of the Christ right outta the goddamn water! Imagine how the Jews would feel about this!"


  • after one of the 120 historic football games in Zagreb, when Neville tried to pass the ball to Robinson, ball rush into the goal and made Paul Robinson one of the greatest sons of Croatia and more...


  • the musician Marko Perkovic Thompson Crossbow Plasma Gun Laser Sniper Rifle is one of the most popular people in Croatia.He is famous for his songs about freeing the pandas and supporting fascism
  • no one