Honda element

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Longhorns controlled the Honda Element during the 2nd Great Human/Longhorn War


It's a box, and it rolls.

Default Features[edit]

  • Water Proof Interior
  • Seven Speakers
  • 64 Different Seating Variations
  • Maximum Fuel Efficient Engine
    • 6 small Japanese children run on treadmills for the engine to work, they should be replaced at the age of 6
  • 2 cup holders

Extra Features[edit]

  • Hanging tent from the trunk
  • Have up to 13 extra cup holders
  • Passenger-side steering wheel
  • Transforms into Sparkplug from Transformers
  • Super Mega-Tread Wheels with GUNS
  • Xbox Controller Compatible
  • Disco Ball for the ladies
  • Hell, give it wings


The sick women of Honda decided to name the paints after sexually transmitted diseases.

History of the Honda Element[edit]

The Honda Element, known as the spark for boxes on wheels, are common amongst the foothills of Suburbia. They were first put on the commercial market in the grand year of 2003, see Year of SARS, but were on the black markets of France and Japan since 1956. The overall style of the Honda Element(for now on called Helement) has been similar throughout out all its life, with only minor tweaks to the size and the materials used. Overall, the Helement was the inspiration for the Nissan Cube, that Scion boxcar thing, the shopping cart, the mobile home, and it was a little known inspiration for Stephen King's famous movie, Maximum Overdrive.

Rise of the Element[edit]

The First Helement in 1956

Before 1943, the Helement was underground concept by the French. But during the Holocaust, the tables had turned. The French knew the Japs were after their prize new invention, so the French, trying to be sneaky(even though they knew they were incapable of being sneaky) hid the blueprints in Napoleon Bonaparte's Tomb. Like always, the French had failed, and the Japs swiftly took the blueprints and were stunned that it wasn't as stupid as the French. The Japs then soon gave the concepts to their beloved Toyota to make the vehicle from the future. In the mean time, the husbands of the women at Honda were getting so fed up of how useless their wife's companies were, they decided to beat them with bamboo and nunchuks. The ladies of Honda soon despised a plan to take the Helement's blueprints, otherwise they would be forced to listen to the speeches of Benito Mussolini the rest of their lives. So the ladies of Honda went and seduced the men at Toyota, and easily escaped with the blueprints. By 1953, the first real Helement was created, however weren't on the black market until the 1956 Winter Olympic Games opened in Cortina d'Ampezzo, Italy. It was an accident, causing the Helement to gradually lose popularity over the years. It's hard to believe, but it has been said that if this accident had not occurred, the Helement would have made a bigger impact then the Swine Flu or even the Death of Michael Jackson if it was released on the original release date. Soon, the people at Toyota and the people from France would find out their car from heaven was finally created, and Flamewars would emerge. The Helement was used as a secret war machine during Vietnam, the Korean Wars, and the 1st and 2nd Longhorn/Human Wars.

Present day Element[edit]

Today, the Helement is on the down-low. However, the reason why France has such great health-care is because they were so pissed from losing at everything, especially the Helement. So they eventually decided to give up and work on healthcare. In 2003, when America was in search for the Holy Grail On Terror by invading Iraq, they stumbled across Suddam Hussein in a Honda Element. That's when American's finally realized how reliable this SUV could be. Ever since this, the Helement has caught the eyes of the consumer. Especially washed-up, middle-age, ex-hippi moms, who believe they have a groovy colored car that can handle kids and groceries.

Non-Transportation Usage[edit]

This man obviously cannot afford a house; hence the nest above the roof
  • The Honda Element is not widely known for war, or anything else, but served as a war machine throughout its lifetime.
  • Allows vegans to own a vehicle without losing their veganess.
  • Romantic Sexroom
  • Some people that are too cheap to buy a car and a camper, so hell, they just buy them together, much like the shampoo & conditioner hybrid bottle.
  • It's been known to be used as a scarecrow in the farms of southern Minnesota.
  • The rubber floor, once filled up with sand make great litter boxes for cats.
  • Romantic Sexroom
  • Some people use them as homes.