House of Reprehensibles
The representative house of the United Spades of Amerika.
The House makes laws that pertain to taxes, public safety, and trivial matters no one really cares about like public holidays and recognizing the Majority Whipping Boy for bringing in the brownies to the lunchroom.
Current House Statistics
- Number of Representatives: 42
- Speaker of the House: Brian Boitano
- Majority Whipping Boy: Father
- Minority Whipping Boy: John Kerry
Rules of the House
- The first rule of the House of Reprehensibles is that you don’t talk about the House of Reprehensibles
- If you wish to ask a question, you must announce that you have a bomb in your possession and you will blow the places to bit if your question is not answered (whether you have a bomb or not does not matter)
- If you are a woman representative, you must be topless at all times.
- No pants are allowed into the chambers
- The Speaker of the House can add rules arbitrarily and not notify anyone of changes
- The speakers must not wear any klothes.
Process of the House
The Speaker of the House gets up and calls the House to order and then does roll call in alphabetical order, in reverse alphabetical order, and all silly nilly just in case.
Then, whoever calls "shotgun" gets to present their bill first. The representative gets 1 minute to introduce their bill. If the House likes it, the bill goes on to Committee. Otherwise, the House trap door opens and the representative gets dropped into the House Pit of Eels.
If someone breaks a rule, one representative calls "OH WHIPPING BOY!" at which point the Majority Whipping Boy or Minority Whipping Boy (depending on the offender's party) gets pulled out and is brutally whipped to punish the offender for breaking the house rules.
This process continues until everyone is in the pit of eels, at which point the janitor is called in to fish them out. Whoever survives the pit and has the least bodily damage gets to be the Speaker of the House for the next day.