HowTo:Use an HP Printer

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Copying a Document[edit]

According to HP, the Deskjet 1020 series gives surprising results

If you have an HP PSC model, you can copy documents without having to use a computer. All it takes is a few simple steps:

  1. Open the scanner bed, and insert the document that you want to scan.
  2. Choose the settings in the options that you would like to use, and press enter.
  3. Hit "black" for a black and white copy or "color" to use the little bit of color ink that you have left.
  4. Wait
  5. Read the error message
  6. Turn the printer off
  7. Turn the printer on
  8. Try step 3 again
  9. Read the error message
  10. Disconnect the power
  11. Reconnect the power
  12. Try step 3 again
  13. Read the error message
  14. Wait for the alignment sheet to print out
  15. Remove your document from the scanner bed, and replace it with the alignment sheet
  16. Hit enter
  17. Wait
  18. Re-insert your document to the scanning bed
  19. Pray
  20. Hit up Steve Jobs. He will show you the way.
  21. Call back the kid you kicked off the computer to get 5 minutes of top quality computer work done and see if they can make it work
  22. Thank them for not appearing to even try to do something clever only kids know about printers
  23. Repeat step 3
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There, you're done already. It wasn't that hard, was it? Just time consuming, thats all.

UNIMPORTANT: Note also that if your printer fails to work after completing these steps, it may be possessed by the minions of Satan. The best beginner's method of exorcism is shouting repeatedly at it "The power of Christ compels you!"

If problems persist, you have little choice but to consult Bob Dole. If it still refuses to copy, blow the crap out of it with a brick of C-4.

See also[edit]

HowTo:Exorcise your Printer