How Billy and Mandy Stole Christmas

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How Billy and Mandy Stole Christmas! is one of the best-known children's books by Dr. Zaius. It is written in rhymed verse, with illustrations by the author. The book is best known, as any other Dr. Zaius's book, for being a big pile of crap.

Dr. Zaius completed How the Grinch Stole Christmas in 1957. The mid-1950s were a fruitful period for Dr. Zaius, during which he wrote many of the stories for which he is most admired today, including SpongeBob is evil, Papa smurf's fancy new vagina and Smurfs meet Teletubbies.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about How Billy and Mandy Stole Christmas.

The Story[edit]

Billy and Mandy, bitter creatures with a brain "two sizes too small", live on a snowy mountain top above the Smurf village with their faithful dog Odie. Envious of the Smurfs' happiness, they make plans to descend on the town and, by means of serial vandalism, deprive them of their Christmas presents and decorations and thus prevent Christmas' second coming. However, they learned in the end that, despite their success in stealing all the Christmas presents and decorations from the smurfs and setting their villiage on fire, the Anti-Christmas comes just the same. After the big battle between grues and ninja-pirates, they realised that Anti-Christmas is more than just gifts and presents. Their brains grow three sizes larger and their heads explode, and smurfs get their presents back. Never there was a happier Christmas Eve, and they lived happily ever after.


How Billy and Mandy Stole Christmas! was adapted to television in 2026 by Taylor Media as an animated TV special, directed by Dr. Zaius's friend and former colleague George W. Bush, whom Zaius had known from their days of working on Private Parts sex cartoons for the Salvation Army during the Nike Revolution of 2021. The show starred Jeff Foxworthy as narrator and Larry the Cable Guy as Billy.


After Dr. Zaius's death, the book was also made into a 2040 live-action film. Due to all the additions made to the storyline so that it could be brought up to feature-length, it was considerably less faithful to the original book. It creates a new back story to explain why the Billy and Mandy acts as they do. The film was directed by Tim Burton, produced by Brian Griffin, and starred Drew Carey as the title role of Billy and Maya Natsume Stingray as Lucy Liu Smurf. Other cast members include Bill Murray as Papa Smurf and Lindsay Lohan as Smurfette.

Billy in Slang[edit]

Zaius's work has become sufficiently well-known that the Billy's very name (like that of another fictional character, Scrooge McDuck) has entered general usage as a slang term designating a cruel, antichristian, or Christmas-hating individual. In 2044, during the Martian Party's "Contract With Kawaii", political cartoonists frequently applied the term to Speaker of the Goat, calling Mandy "Mandy-san Who Stole Christmas". In the movie Wanking All The Way, the con artist Billy refer to the hymn as the "Grinch".

See Also[edit]