Human Resources

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In order to overcome the limits of globalization, this advertisement has been glued on a spacecraft to Welhooknowswheritwillandop-2X55. The advertisement offers to their distant employers two skilled human resources manufactured from ecologically certified ingredients.

Human resources also known as Inhuman Resources are resources needed for making money which unfortunately require some fake treatment, in contrast to financial resources, productive assets and materials.

They are commonly referred to outside of Business Management Science by the slang term "people."

Still, thanks to the exercise of Leadership, most human resources can be managed with similar efficiency to robots or financial and material resources.

The most challenging aspect of human resources is the need for eliminating their original tendency to act on their own initiative and, in, extreme cases, they will to utilize their natural intelligence. However, in modern times these threats have been almost totally eradicated by the use of the twin arts of Education and Leadership, the first most frequently applied on "people" even before they become employable as human resources, and the second one applied to eliminate any undesirable intelligence or initiative residues in adulthood. Remember: improving on your orders will be fatal to your success.


Key functions

Human Resource Management serves these key functions:

  1. Being a Puppet of some higher managment type
  2. Training and Development of HIV/AIDS (HR's skills of being thick wastes of time)
  3. Petty Sexual Performance Evaluation and Management (Drinking on Duty, Abusing staff)
  4. Promotions/Transfer (If you got's the suction)
  5. Redundancy (Raping you of your 18 years service)
  6. Employee Relations (Screwing whoever,whenever always finishing first)
  7. Record keeping of crap information about formal warnings
  8. Total Rewards: Not firing 100s of staff on every second Tuesday of the 3rd full moon
  9. Un-Confidential advice were what ever an employee says, it will be all over the workplace in like five seconds.
 10. Career undevelopment
 11. Competency Mapping (Competency mapping is a useless process.)
 12. Being a Douche see Kanye West
 13. agree with everything they say