Human genome project

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Often thought to be something to do with genetics, the "genome" is in fact a misspelling: it is in fact the human Gnome project, an undercover operation by the government of America to breed a race of human/gnome cross-breeds who will be able to use their pointy hats and fishing lines in conjunction with laser guided missile technology to become the ultimate fighting force.

A Human Rights plea[edit]

Due to the awesome power that it is believed the super-gnomes of death (as they are codenamed) will bring to any government who control them, the international court of human rights urges you to cull any and all lawn ornaments which could potentially be fornicated with and so lead to the birth of a super-gnome of death. If you see a SGoD then please, shoot it with anything that comes to hand and then report it to the relevant authorities (i.e. the League against the Super Gnomes)

The Secret weapon[edit]

The super-gnomes are actually designed to be shot from space and to crush all enemys; crying their battle cry DEATH TO ROUNDCAPS. This is part of their unbelievable power, their ability to destroy any minor country without thinking and the ability of their trademarked GIBLETTS OF DOOM!!!!!!!! to radioactivise all surrounding land