Humatoads

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Humatoads[edit]

A social group that were exempt from the American publishing of The Outsiders. They were left in the European release, because of pending deposition. Despite their name insinuating the presence of toadlike qualities on a humanoid body, they were, in fact, completely made of kelp. They were so awesome that their purely antagonistic role in the European story was ruled "unnecessary bullshit" by the general public who were heavily dissapointed when the entire race was slain by the Highlander with the blade of Excalibur in the second chapter. This lead to mass scale revolts which caused the governments of all European countries (excluding Norway cause they're metal as fuck) to fall into a state of anarchy.

Aftermath[edit]

With the vast majority of European civilization in shambles, the crime rate plummeted. The cause was not a rise in popular morality, but the lack of written law. The question soon arose, "If I kill my neighbor's dog, and no trees fall down to hear it, did it really happen? And if it did, what the hell are you going to do about it cause I'll beat you in the face with this awesome shovel cause our government is non-existant and I won't get in trouble any how, so there!" The answer being, "Um, I just clicked over from a Victor Wooten article. I don't want no trouble..."

Ponderosa: The Premath[edit]

When Ponyboy stumbles upon the immovable Excalibur blade his initial reaction was to snatch that bitch up and drag it to the nice side of town and slash Bob's tires. "This'll be totally righteous," he thought. But then S.E. Hinton broke several laws of time, space, and copyright by traveling into the future and preemptively stealing the Highlander character and incorporating it into her twisted story. "This'll be totally righteous," she thought.

Once free to roam around in Hinton's fictional universe (completely free from other immortals) his ass went wild and dominated everything. He formed an army of bears and enslaved the socs to do his bidding. He was finally vanquished in the final boss fight, when a reanimated zombie of Bob backed his sweet chevy over the Highlander's neck, effectively severing his head from his body. This served as and end to the br00tal anarchy that plagued Europe during the reading of this novel.

Asians reacted inversely and for approximately 3 work days Korea and Vietnam reunited both halfs only to split once more after the defeat of the Highlander.