Hydrangea

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H
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Geranium
File:H-TableImage.png
General
Name Hydrangea
Symbol H
Number 0
Kinkiness moderate to high
Physical Properties
Melting point 1600 °C, or maybe 1600 °F
Boiling point 2200 °C, or maybe 2200 °F
Flavour Chocolatey
Appearance 3 to 5 feet in height, with normally white blooms
Natural Habitat wooded slopes, ravines, along streams and at the base of bluffs
Known Isotopes HArborescens
HPaniculata
HQuerscifolia


Hydrangea is the first element of the Idiotic Table of the Elements. It is a highly complex element, largely present in suburban gardens. No one knows where it came from, how it got there, or why anyone would bother not to get rid of it.

It has been known to kill almost all species of insect, reptile, mammal and Bill Gates present in the universe. It is thus very dangerous and is kept in underwater labs run by fish.

It has a very interesting effect on mermaids, where it kills half of them. Funny, eh?