ICALCSI

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Along with display problems, ICALCSI can often result in images with misspelled text and garbled error messages.

Images or CSS aren't Loading Correctly Sometimes Issue (ICALCSI), sometimes called i-CALCS for short, is a contagious disease that can be found on most computers today. It is also transferrable to humans, similar to rabies, where it has a high mortality rate. Undetectable by doctors, the disease has single-handedly created a new profession called Quality Assurance.

Symptoms[edit]

While still unpredictable, some studies have shown a strong correlation between playing too much BSOD and ICALCSI. Developers seem to be at an extreme risk for catching the disease. While the cause for this disturbing fact is still unknown, many have speculated that developers have a tendency to play with the interweb which is likely the source of the infection.

Other symptoms include:

Once transferred to humans, the following symptoms seem to develop:

  • Broken keyboard or mouse (Depends on the severity of the disease)
  • Frantic calls to local tech support (often found in forms of the virus which are expensive to cure)
  • Insanity

Treatment[edit]

A developer suffering from ICALCSI.

Finding the disease early can reduce the mortality rate by as much as 50%. However, catching the disease involves Quality Assurance performing rigorous tests which can be insanely annoying to developers. For unknown reasons, there seems to be a correlation between the number of ICALCSI patients and the suicide rate of Quality Assurance specialists. Many researchers find that Quality Assurance 70% more likely to catch the disease due to proximity to patients, which often lead to their untimely death.

Once ICALCSI has entered its matured stage, the only treatment is quarantine. The infected computer must be locked into a quarantine zone and vaporized. This often includes locking the person who found the diseased computer into the same quarantine zone to prevent exposure to other humans. The person's death is considered a necessary loss to eliminating ICALCSI.

Once transferred to humans, the disease is nearly unstoppable. In 95.8% of ICALCSI cases in humans the disease proves fatal. Left fully untreated a patient will experience the miracle moment and will be unable to communicate with other humans. The only known treatment is a silver bullet which will provide sweet death, but this has proven successful in only 5% or all trials. Other successful terminations of the disease have included wooden stakes, machetes, and Bono.