IGN

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International Gaming Narcotics, or as its more widely recognized acronym facade, IGN, is a multi-billion dollar corportaion that develops, manufactures, and promotes the use of drugs during recreational sporting activities. It was started in 1993 by Ronald McDonald, and later incorporated in 2001. IGN is currently owned by FOX News. Though it said that Matt Casamassina is the eternal god of the farts.


''''==Humble Beginnings[edit]

Ronald McDonald the fifth, at the peak of his career in 1993, had exhausted his McDonalds' stock options and was looking for an alternative investment endeavor. The concept of selling drugs to gamers was born out of an wager between Satan and himself. Although the exact terms of the wager were never revealed, it is clear that with the financial backing of the McDonalds' heir and the Evil of The Lord of Darkness Himself, whatever venture the two developed would be a prosperous one, if not necessarily entirely legitimate.

The first several years of operation were dedicated to narcotic research, wherein thousands of gamers were imported by the truckload and subjected to experiments. Early tests involved subcutaneous injection of mind-altering substances into the hands via controller pads. Results showed that 96% of subjects displayed faster synaptic responses and a 600% increase in "w00t!"

Ye Olde Entrie[edit]

IGN, also known as the Discombobulatospheromatron or the Devil's Plaything, was originally invented by Samoht Nosreffej, Thomas Jefferson's evil twin (they were separated at birth, as most good twin/evil twin combinations are). The designs were ultimately lost for several hundred years before being recovered by Indiana Jones.

Hey, This One's Plugged In Wrong: IGN Becomes Sentient[edit]

This definition is t3h gh3y

The IGN prototype would later be constructed by Norman Pomn in his Rhode Island laboratory. It was promptly filed away for several years before it mysteriously resurfaced in the MIT Archives. Finally, years later, incredibly inept graduate student Reynolds McPfalzer discovered that it was incorrectly connected to its power supply.

On October 23, 2000, IGN became sentient. It said that it would like a glass of water.'''' == Your mom sucks!!! hahahahaha