ITV Website

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Warm Welcome[edit]

Welcome to the ITV homepage (the channel that puts E into Excremental reality low-budget shit).

ITV News[edit]

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Latest from ITV News

  • New study shows that the BBC hire paedophiles to do the weather (Report from a Mr. P. Fincham)*
  • BBC has longer adverts than ITV scandal ensues*
  • Ant & Dec will leave ITV when their contract runs out to restart their pop career*
  • Arlene Phillips: ITV age row she replaces much older Danni Minogue on talent show X Factor!*

Tonight on ITV One[edit]

  • 6.00pm - ITV London Tonight (You don't have to watch if you don't want to)
  • 6.30pm - ITV Evening News (Same as above)
  • 7.00pm - Animals do the sexiest things
  • 8.00pm - Flemmerdale
  • 8.30pm - Coriander Street
  • 9.00pm - The Bill (Yeah at nine o'clock to make it grittier and because at eight theres probably something better on S4C)
  • 10.00pm - News at Ten with Trevor McDonald
  • 11.00pm - Film: Die Another Day (Yet another day)

Catch up on the Iplayer (oh no the ITV Player sound alike don't they?)[edit]

Most Watched

  • Lidl Vs. Aldi - The ultimate price showdown!
  • All the adverts in between - ITV gives you the chance to watch repeats of last night adverts !!!!££££££!!!!
  • Flemmerdale - The Woolpack closes after Marlon shags Edna over the meat slicer OUCH!!
  • Primeval - Oh no least watched to a shit episode of Robin Hood

Todays Competition[edit]

How do you spell Television (without looking at how we spelt it) is it A.Rectum B.Simon Cowell C.Television or D.Inter-racial monkey, leprechaun porn to enter simply call 0925 452 8745 (Competition ends 10th July 2008) calls cost £4.00 X 11 - 1p, depending on you're generosity to help the poor orphans in Madonnas house if we get 2,000,000 calls we will donate 1p. For free online entry visit WWW.BBCISBETTER.CO.UK/£20entryfeebutkeepthatquietontheITVwebsite.html.php.p2p.thepolicearecomingtogetyou.gov.cia.fbi.mi5.72.874.985.2.3.com you can copy and paste that if you want!

Contact us[edit]

Complaints click here: BBClogo.jpg

Donations (we need money - fast!) click here: Greedyeyes.jpg