I Think I've Stood In Something Day

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Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about I Think I've Stood In Something Day.

Originally, this day was on the 15th of January, but it was soon noticed that at that time of year there is not much to step into and what there is is usually frozen solid.

The modern rite started in 1834, when politicians were out canvassing for votes in Fuckshire (later Devon). On a regular basis, an MP would suddenly realise that a smell had attached itself to their person and soon the countryside would be ringing with "I think I've stood in something".

Some debate was entered into as to how early in the year the rite could be set and after much scientific research it was determined that the 9th of June was guaranteed a crop of freshly laid dung unmolested by the British weather.

The reason for the rite in the first place is completely unknown; only the possibility that our ancestors where shitfreaks makes any sense in this regard.