I just thought up a really good idea for an article, but now I can't remember it.
Aww man, you should see this idea. Like WTF. It is phenomenal. It's an idea that even our worst writers won't be able to screw up. I am going to write it, and immediately put it up on VFH, and watch it single-handedly save this site. You'll look at the title of the article, and be like, "Man that's such a good idea." Nobody can stop me, or my awesome article. Now if only I could remember what the fuck it is...
I remember where I was.
I was a little drunk at the time. My boy Boyle was saying something about mint jelly...was the idea mint jelly? No. Fuck.
I can't believe this!
This is terrible. Come on brain, think! You have to remember what it was. You just gotta! Nobody likes me here, but if I came up with this awesome idea, they would be all like, "Hey we were wrong about you! You are hilarious/We like you, like more than just friends. Come, play with us!" And I would be all like, "Awesome guys, I knew you'd come to love me one day. Thank God I remembered that awesome fucking article, so that it could work out between us all." And then we would, like, make-out or something.
Ok, so I know that last section got a little weird, but don't worry, its ok. I was just joking, see? I'm funny. I would never insinuate love between me and all the Uncyclopedia users/readers. I don't love you all. I mean.... unless you all love me, because, then I totally do; but if you don't then thank God, because that isn't how I feel about you. Maybe.
I'll just say this, I have no intention of making the first move. So if you want me, come get me, and everything that comes with me. Like this awesome article that I thought up. Whatever the fuck it is.... Jesus Christ, what in the hell is it again?
Ok, this isn't working. Let's try a list.
Ok, lists are good, and hilarious. Alright, lets just say a word, see where that takes me. Simple word association. I'm bound to end up with the title of the article soon.
If I can't remember this damn thing, I'll quit this site!
Stupid fucking idea. Why do all the best ideas come to you while you're drunk? And why can't I remember anything from when I'm drunk? Dammit all! This was my one shot. My one shot at greatness. I've spent all this time trying to think up what this article is, and for what? Every single second of my pathetic life is as useless as that article! I'm done. I quit.
Hold on, hold on.
I've thought about it, and I can't quit on this amazing article just yet. It's too good. It's like Jesus on crack. And think about how good Jesus could have been if he were on crack. He could have done like 300 miracles a day man. I think we need to enact a rule that says we need to get all people with the ability to perform miracles hooked on crack. I'm just sayin'. It's a good idea. Just not as good an idea as the genius one that I'm trying to remember now. AAAAAAHHHHH! WHAT IN THE HELL WAS IT?!
Fuck it. I'll just write mint jelly.
God Damn It!
- Not the link you were expecting, huh?
- We don't have this article? Aww man, that's terrible