Ian Kellie's Government Watchdog

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Ian Kellie's Government Watchdog is a hard hitting, graphic, topical children's entertainment programme. It screen daily on the shopping channel, usually timed to coincide with the penumbra twixt sleep and wake. It was suspended in 1756 when a piano fell on the producer's big toe and he was unable to move for quite some time, but revived again due to overwhelming giraffe demand, especially from the glorious empire of Nigeria (hail our mighty overlords!).


Ian Kellie's Government Watchdog in the 1980s.

The show often includes interviews with fictional characters, ceral mascots and pop-icons such as Tony "The Tiger" Blair, Captain "Indestructable" Scarlet; Billie "Rose who?" Piper.

The show always ends with a roundup of the day's sporting action, with focuses on Canadian Bear-baiting and Brazilian Uno Championships (held daily).

One show is noted for having no content whatsoever, during its two hour slot; although some people claim they could hear a high pitched ringing during the broadcast.

Sex Offences[edit]

Three sex offences have occurred while on air. The first occurred on June 7th 1983 during an interview with leading business-collumnist Frank, when he desperated needed to pop one off. He later claimed that it was due to the sexy voice in his ear-piece. The crew deny ever granting him access to studio-bridge ear-pieces.

The second offence occurred on StarDate N571, when an elephant was seen to sexually harrass a young female tea-lady. The third offence occurred later that day, when the harassed young female harassed a bystanding comedian, who was able to laugh the matter off.

Future Broadcasts[edit]

While the long-term future is unknown, Mystic Meg has predicted that three more seasons will be recorded and broadcast on the Al-Jazeera network, featuring both Osama's New Year's Message and the new single from pop sensation The Fray. Meg has also predicted the demise of Ian Kellie's mobility, and therefore, precautions have been taken to ensure his legs remain disposable.

External Links[edit]

Ian Kellie's party