Icon

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In religion, an icon is an extremely small idol, which is powered by tiny magical pixels.

The Idol Industry Takes a Beating[edit]

In 1492 BCE, when the graven image industry was in full swing, Moses the Lawlayer enacted severe and draconian penalties aimed at the manufacturization and utilization of idols. He then enacted special exemptions for himself so that he could monopolize the idol trade with his exclusive line of arks of the covenant and gold-plated cherubims and bronzed serpents on a stick and colossal Ten Commandments monuments, which are enshrined inside American courthouses to this day.

Idolaters Discover Moore's Law[edit]

Meanwhile, the innocent idol manufacturers were forced underground and managed to stay in business by selling handheld portable idols, which were renamed "icons" for legal purposes only.

Icons in Medieval Times[edit]

Icon technology soon advanced so rapidly that they were embedded by the thousands in stained-glass Windows JC™ by Microsoft in 1066 AD. Medieval churchgoers were able to obtain random blessings by directing prayers and other magical mutterings (usually two in quick succession) at them.

Recent status[edit]

As time went by, icons breed so much that they overwhelmed the overworld. Hoping to applease God, the churchgoers dug down in order to create space for them to exist in. Unknown to them the underground was already used to contain the Internet, and soon the icons started to flood the network. As time went by, the icons started congregating into many communities, where they still exist to this day.

Types of Icons[edit]

Example of a sublimal device by Oprah. If you see this, consult your nearest doctor immediately
  • Meme Icon This icon is about me and me, and NOT you. So stop using it.
  • Pop Icon Pop icons tend to have a short livespan. In order to prevent extinction, they often disguise themselves as User Icons.
  • Quote Icon This icon usually contains a random quote. Only Oscar Wilde icons are sincere, all others are part of Oprah's plan for world domination.
  • User Icon These icons no longer exist after the great Flame War, which led the pop icons to massacare them to ensure their immortality.
  • iCon A book written by Steve Jobs, apparently, it was to be named "I Con", as in "I con lots of people and get their ca$h". But the designers thought it was much better to make it "iCon", as in a "I Con With My iPod".

See Also[edit]