“This system is the greatest currency system I've ever seen! Really!”
Illegal UnTender or Wildes (symbol: ☺$) is the national currency of Uncyclopedia and the Goa Tse Temple. Or it will be, once I can get the rest of Uncyclopedia to use it. But the system works! Really! Once I can get it to work, that is. But you'll see! One day, I'll be richer than Bill Gates! I'll rule the world! But for now, I'd like to discuss my invention with you, dear (subordinate) reader. Here's how you're gonna pay your taxes around these parts in three months:
- 1 History
- 2 How It Works
- 3 Current UnDollar Bills
- 4 Current UnChange
- 5 FAQ
- 5.1 So, when does this become official?
- 5.2 Why should anyone try to earn money?
- 5.3 Couldn't you just give yourself a bunch of money?
- 5.4 Who said you were allowed to do this?
- 5.5 What is two plus two?
- 5.6 Can I make UnDollar Bills?
- 5.7 Am I asking too many questions too quickly?
- 5.8 Well, how do you-
- 6 See Also
UnTender's founder (me) was travelling on a hill one day, although no one really knows why, when he caught sight of the city of Uncyclopedia. It was a thriving community, and the founder asked himself "This place... it is missing something, but what?" And so he thought, and thought, and thought about it for 3 days, and then decided to puzzle, and puzzle, and muse, and think about it for 5 days, until he finally realised that there weren't any bosses yelling at employees in the city, nor banks being robbed, nor men getting killed for money! But the thing that brought this to the founder's attention was that no one had to pay for all the work he did for humanity! The injustice! So the founder decided to make some kind of money for people to fight over.
And... that's as far as I've gotten. It's still a new idea. Be patient, and it'll catch on.
I just know it will!
How It Works
Okay, so here's how it'll work, in handy step-by-step instructions:
- First, you need to pray to the person on the face of the dollar bill, otherwise, the almighty gods of Uncyclopedia In-Jokes will huff you. So say your prayers.
- After praying, do some work around Uncyclopedia. Lots of work. HARD work.
- Next, tell the person on the bill that you did work around Uncyclopedia. If you can't, proceed to tell someone else.
- Now, hope that fortune smiles on you and you get a couple of Oscars for your effort. If not, try again.
If you manage to earn some money, good for you!
Now give it back for income tax.
Current UnDollar Bills
Now available in an UnBank near you!
So, when does this become official?
Umm... I never really thought that far ahead, see–
Why should anyone try to earn money?
It's complicated, and really, I–
Couldn't you just give yourself a bunch of money?
Well, in theory, maybe, but–
Who said you were allowed to do this?
What is two plus two?
Can I make UnDollar Bills?
Am I asking too many questions too quickly?
Well, how do you-
Alright, that's it. This article is OVER!