Immortal Son of God

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Immortal Son of God[edit]

Throughout history there have been many incarnations of the Immortal Son of God. Popular belief holds that there have thus far been three incarnations. America believes that it is the only true incarnation of the Immortal Son of God. Buddhists believe there is no Immortal Son of God, only a big statue with no arms.

I don't like spiders!

The First Incarnation[edit]

Through the use of carbon dating technology and philosophical conjecture (gossiping) scientists have been able to infer with a high level of accuracy that the first incarnation of the Immortal Son of God was Ronald Weasely. Being the Immortal Son of God he was the wielder of Unimaginable Destructive Power as well as being the sole possessor of the construction schematics for Furbies (later stolen by Hasbro). Untrustworthy eye witness reports claim that Ronald (more commonly known as Ron, or just Weasely ) walked the Earth before the Dark Ages . During this time it is believed that his job, task, mission from God and life-goal was to rid the Earth of bad smells and European diplomats (many argue that the two are essentially the same) as well as protecting the Earth in general. The unfortunate fusion of Ronn Moss and a snake created Ron's semi-permanent arch-nemesis Draco Malfoy. The combination of Moss' bad hair-do's and a snake's snake-like nature resulted in a rather unpleasant character who's favourite hobby was badminton. This set the precedent for all future arch-nemesis' of the Immortal Son's of God, all of which have enjoyed playing the immoral sport of badminton. The mantle of Immortal Son of God was taken from him, however, when he failed to stop the gerbil Francis from devouring the sun. The mantle of Immortal Son of God was then passed on to Optimus Prime via the Autobot Matrix of Leadership. Optimus then became the second Immortal Son of God.

The Second Incarnation[edit]

Optimus Prime was the second incarnation of the Immortal Son of God. Among other things, he wrote Urban Poetry, designed and modelled Urban fashion, and had a steamy (or perhaps oily) affair with Brooke Shields. He also commanded the Autobots, who held him in high regard...he called them his bitches. His arch-nemsesis was Megatron and the two frequently clashed in military struggles, elections, and name-calling. In addition to this, they also duelled in badminton tournaments. Optimus' offspring include Joeybot, Dannycon, Rogertron, Bettycon and Norman although none of them have exhibited any unnatural talents or abilities as a result of being the sons and daughters of the Immortal Son of God. Right before dying for our sins, Optimus handed the Autobot Matrix of Leadership to his long-time drinking buddy Neo.

The Third and Current Incarnation[edit]

The current incarnation of the Immortal Son of God is Neo. Granted the mantle of Immortal Son of God, Neo has thus far used his powers to cause the Autobot Matrix of Leadership to play only industrial techno music, and to have awesomely choreographed fight scenes with various other notables in his life. In addition to this, he created Pineapple-flavored sunscreen which was a commercial succes (largely due to the fact that the primary endorsor was the Immortal Son of God). A trilogy of movies has been made about Neo without his permission and is rumoured to be called Star Wars. Neo denies that the movies are historically accurate and claims that he looks nothing like Bill S. Preston Esquire. Neo can currently be found chillin' in the Matrix or engaging in a highly competitive game of badminton with his arch-nemesis Agent Smith.