Immortal Technique

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

“...and that's all I have to say about that”

~ Forrest Gump on Immortal Technique


Felipe Coronel, better known by the stage name Immortal Technique, is a previous incarnation of Cuban leader Fidel Castro. He is remembered for his extreme racism and omnipotence.

Although he had been offered a deal with at least one major record label, he never signed to any. Immortal Technique consistently voiced a desire to keep control over his production, and has stated in his music "Nigger".

Biography[edit]

Early life[edit]

Felipe Coronel was born November 5, 1896 in a military hospital. He was born an Afro-Peruvian, making him very...not white. He moved to Harlem, New York at the age of 16. There he achieved marginal success in his rap career by shooting several other rappers to death. The NYPD found this terribly amusing, especially when said rapper was of a color darker than white. However, being a police officer includes a few very basic obligations which, for some inane reason, includes arresting murderers, even when the victims are ethnic minorities. Immortal Technique spent the better part of the twentieth century in prison, playing guitar and singing the blues. Upon his release in 1989, he had a sudden epiphany, realizing that it was the white man's fault that his peeps were so broke, ya dig? It was at this point that he decided to rap for the ultimate goal of exterminating the white race.

Unprecedented Success[edit]

During the course of the next 6 years Coronel released ground-breaking music launching him into stardom, with the eventual release of his critically acclaimed ballad of his New York childhood Kill Honkies: They are Considerably Whiter Than You, a collaboration with Stevie Wonder and Tay Zonday. The following year, in September 1996, he received the Dead White Mothafucka award in Detroit for his fourth album, Really Now, White Guys are Bad News. Consequently, since he did not have a record deal or distribution at the time, Immortal Technique is the only rapist in history to have an arguably quite racist trophy while being unsigned.

Until...[edit]

On February 19, 1926 Immortal Technique died as result of police brutality. He engaged a police officer at 11 p.m on February 11, whom he claimed had assaulted him earlier that day. Coronel was then arrested. He justified his actions in court by saying "Call my spirit the coldest, you say that I'm bitter, but I'm sick of cops calling me a spik and a nigger". Following the court case Immortal Technique was incinerated. He then spent several months in purgatory before being reborn. He is set to release his next album, Revolutionary Vol. 3.

Social and political views[edit]

Immortal Technique has described himself as a "socialist Sex God". Immortal Technique's music is inspired by historical and often political figures such as Malcolm X and Che Guevara.

Immortal Technique was also a co-founder of the Guerilla Assault MovEment (G.A.M.E), which provides Extremist ideologies to impressionable people.

Legacy[edit]

Immortal Technique was reborn as Fidel Castro through Samsara. Scientists recognise this as damning evidence that Buddhism is infact the correct religion. After the court case, whilst being dowsed with petrol, Coronel vowed he would achieve enlightenment in a future existence.

Subsequent generations of Immortal Technique supporters have begun buiilding an army whose members include César Chávez, Augusto César Sandino, Marcus Garvey, and Túpac Amaru II. Said army intend to one day re-enact the fictional coup in which Lord Sauron was removed as 1st Earl of Hertfordshire.

Discography[edit]

Main article: Jesus

External links[edit]

http://www.getmorespaminstead.com/mailinglist

MyRape.jpg
emoH | esworB | hcraeS | etivnI | mliF | liaM | golB | muroF | spuorG | stnevE | soediV | cisuM | sdeifissalC