Impossible food

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Impossible Food is a cult that began in the mid-1990's, much beloved of celebrity chefs, quack nutrititonists and many other types of TV personality. The central tenet of this doctrine demands that we all cook extremely complicated meals whose main ingredients are very expensive substances that no-one can actually buy in their local shop anyway. This of course makes impossible food a highly effective way of losing weight. The spread of this cult has widely been blamed for the rising tide of obesity that plagues Europe and America. This is because most normal people, when confronted by such over-complicated and pretentious recipes, dished up by patronising TV chefs, just say "what the fuck, I'll just go and get something junky from McDonalds".

Unavailable Ingredients[edit]

A central doctrine of the Cult of Impossible Food is that food should be made from ingredients that nobody other than celebrity chefs and quack nutritionists can actually buy. In other words the ingredients must be unavaialble in anything but the weirdest and most expensive of "unsupermarkets".

More Drizzle[edit]

Another aspect of the impossible food cult is that everything we eat should be needlessly complicated to prepare. No food is really edible unless it has been combined with over ten other highly improbable ingredietns. before serving it should also be either drizzled upon, set on a bed of onion marmalade or pissed on personally by the chef's cat. At the highest level of perfection Impossible Food dishes cannot actually be prepared before the food is lost to the law of entropy as defined by the Third Law of Thermodynamics.

List of Impossible Food Ingredients[edit]

Aduki Beans

List of Impossible Food People[edit]