Incredulous design

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Approved by Kansas Board of Education
Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.

Incredulous design (a.k.a. ID) is the well-founded observation that every single object in the universe which happens to be more complicated than a mousetrap (whose inner workings itself is barely comprehensible to mere humans) has been designed in an incredulous manner. In the highly unlikely event that you yourself ever come across one of these strange objects in the wild, for the love of Sophia please try not to panic (it won't help).

The Dogma of "Incredulous design"[edit]

All objects in the universe that are irreducibly complicated are, by definition, incredulously designed, even if the relevant blueprints and patent applications cannot be found for some reason. However, unlike most logical implications, this Dogma sometimes does not work in reverse, because a select few incredulously designed things are, in fact, not irreducibly complicated at all.

Discovery of Incredulous design in nature[edit]

In 1978 AD, Dr Michael Behe (Phd., BA., MBA., MBTA., AAA., NAMBLA NAACP.) made the shocking discovery that sickle-cell anemia (an irreducibly complicated disease) was not only designed, but was in fact created in an evil bioterror laboratory by loyal minions of the omnipotent goddess Oprah Winfrey. Dr Behe (Phd., BA., MBA., MBTA., AAA., NAACP.) was reportedly struck with an amazing amount of incredulity by this stunning revelation (no, really!), but he eventually recovered his sensibilities and led a full rich satisfying life until he was recently eaten by a pack of carnivorous mousetraps.

Further investigations into this previously untapped field of sheer ignorance by squadrons of incredulous scientifical types with many honorary degrees in hydrological engineering have unearthed a veritable treasure trove of things which have since turned out to be incredulously designed. Sadly, most of those things have subsequently been determined to have been designed and patented by none other than Bill Gates (the second personality of the Trinity, after the Great Oprah).

Things that are incredulously designed[edit]

There are more incredulously designed things in the universe than you can shake a pointed stick at, and life is too short and precious for to waste valuable time and bandwidth creating endless unfunny lists. In the interests of parsimony, this section will contain only the exhaustive list of things that are NOT incredulously designed.

Exhaustive list of things that are NOT incredulously designed[edit]

Bizarre connection to Information theory[edit]

In 1998, Dr William Dembski (Phd., BA., MBA., MBTA., AAA., NAACP.), using the unyielding "Law of Conservation of Information" and much Catholic gradeschool arithmetic, mathemagically poofed proofed that all incredulously-designed things contain exactly 173 kilobytes of information (no more and no less). This amazing breakthrough led immediately to the development of transporters and matter replicators and faster-than-light starships that are now an indispensable part of our post-modern utopianic lifestyles.

See also[edit]