Indecisiveness

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Uhh. This article is about indecisiveness. I think you were looking for this, but I don't know.

You cannot go both ways.

Indecisiveness or indecision is the inability to decide. It's your decision to believe this. I'm not kidding. Or am I? This inability is experienced by all people but in different extents. As determined by numerous local studies, indecisiveness is encountered every hour by 65% of the North American population on mainly multiple choice tests, voting booths, 50% Off! shopping sprees, and when to check what time it is. Not all of the studies have come to the same conclusion. About 10% of studies show that indecisiveness is caused by an external factor, not contained to our minds.

History[edit]

Ask me again in 5 minutes.
“Alright. What was the first thing you said?”

Indecisiveness is described best by this author:

Cquote1.png

Indecisiveness... well... it's... uh... how would you describe it? It's when you... erm... no, that's wrong. Suffice to say, I'll finish this article later. No, I'l do it now. No, tomorrow... perhaps. Which? Oh, do I finish this article now or later? Jesus this is hard.

Cquote2.png

Yes, it's that hard. Well, not that hard.

The first undecidable question[edit]

Scientists and theorists are currently studying the origin of indecision. They determined that the first occurrence of indecisiveness is during the times of the Stone Age regarding the famous invention, the wheel. When the first stone carvers made the round, circular stone wheel, they faced a problem. The scientific community posed a hypothesis that the carvers' question was:

Cquote1.png Should we charge extra for installation? Cquote2.png

Do you take Visa?

Two-sided die[edit]

The two-sided die is usually used to make a “yes or no” type of decision. This die is usually thrown in the air above someone's head. If the die falls on “heads,” then the result is “yes.” Otherwise, the result is “no.” When used properly, almost all of the indecisiveness is removed from the user's situation. However, without a die, indecision increases proportionally to time.

Asking on a website forum[edit]

I'm not sure what to do.

A website forum is extremely useful for decisions that may have multiple outcomes. Someone with indecisiveness can simply browse the Internet to a forum and simply ask their question. Here is a short example (includes mouse-over tooltip notes on some parts):

Teh leet fora

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST BEFORE POSTING

nned halp
ha ha i neeb
heys, i need help on something
TheLSkills
Extreme Leet Hacker
Read the top of the page before posting, thanks!
Your friendly guides
irc #leet
“n00!” ~ SudoR00T
nned halp
ha ha i neeb
i think i broke my floopy drive, where do i buy a new one
SudoR00T
root admin#
yuo are so in for a perma-ban!1
nned halp
ha ha i neeb
ok, im going to by a perma-band flopy drive then, thanks guys :)

Another decision successfully made!

Win the lottery[edit]

Oh my gosh! I'm doing outcome number six!

This method requires purchasing some lottery tickets. A person using this method will think of a situation and several possible outcomes or decisions. Assign each outcome a number starting from zero. Purchase a ticket and wait until the the numbers are published. Next, match the number of winning numbers to your assigned outcomes. For example, if you have 4 of the winning numbers matching your ticket, then do outcome #4. Finally, discard the ticket (preferably into the recycle bin).

The Automagic Decider 1.0[edit]

The Automagic Decider is a recently developed technology that actually is able to pick what you think that you might like! Its advanced random number generator is totally biased and completely sane for everyday use.

  • For purchase inquiries, please see your local unadmins “hi-techno” shop available in the intranetallic nodes of the intertube connectory listings.*

*Not available in all IP addresses

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Today...

Page improvements[edit]

Meals[edit]

  • Your breakfast will consist of: Imaginary steak with a side of unfood from the unbakery. Mmm! Delicious or mouth-watering? So mouth-watering!
    • This meal is to be repeated throughout the day. Eat, eat, eat!

Social[edit]

  • Renew your friendship with that on edge Frosty who colloquially pwned your vagina.
    • Or, you know, whatever – that's on edge!
  • Go Elf hunting today. Remember to bring plenty of leashes because that monster might be in human-drying state.
  • Pour some lava beside your friend's green belly buttons.
  • Claim you sighted a tasmanian devil on acid in Beverly Hills to get some attention, but you didn't have your sword. (In actuality, all you saw was some bearsharktopus in a bathroom.)

Sleep[edit]

  • You will prepare to sleep at: 10:30 PM
  • Brush your teeth: No. Fresh steak breath.
  • Wait 7 minutes before jumping in bed
    • Lights out after 11 minutes.


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See also[edit]