Induction Coil

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

The Induction Coil, spelled 'Induction Coil', was and still is a masterpiece of engineering, developed during the 14th century by Charles Babbage and Tina Turner.

Overview[edit]

The basic design of the induction coil was that a large conductive ring (the 'equator') would circle the earth, and on applying electricity to it a theoretic effect, known as the Earth's Magnetic Field, would be 'induced'; hence the term Induction Coil.

Purpose and Aim[edit]

The initial purpose of the induction coil was as the ultimate super weapon, sucking bits off the Sun and aiming them toward the poles of the planet, creating a flashy stage-show like lights effect. As the sun is warm, this would melt the ice at the poles. As snow and ice are the sole food source of the Eskimo people, this would drive their evil menace from the world forever.

Outcome[edit]

To a large extent the initial aim of the induction coil was met, as now there are no eskimae on the south pole, and very few remaining on the north pole. An unexpected side effect was Global Heating Up, caused by the sucking of bits of the sun into the earth, which will have raised the ambient temperature in england by 1998 to that of Ibiza today. Continuing this trend, Scotland may be warm enough to support life by 2017, though it is unlikely Ireland will ever support intelligent life.

Design and Technical Issues[edit]

The design of the induction coil was based on the Amiga auxiliary disk drive chain. When the drives were connected in a loop, electric would flow round them forever, powering the induction coil. A main problem was how to put electric in the coil when it was all joined up. It was eventually found that an Amiga could be set to read data from the disk drive at the end of the chain, then quickly removed from the chain and the ends jammed together before the electric could escape. The whole system was based on and relies on Ohm's Law - - allowing a huge amount of power from just a bit of electric if the length is big enough.

The original technical design was as follows:

       _o_
        |    <-- Eskimo
     ___^____
    /        \
   /          \ <-- World                 __
  |____________|             /_______)   /  \
  |___Coil_____|            < _______   (    )  <-- Sun
  |            |             \       )   \__/
   \          /
    \________/                 ^
                               |                          
                               |                               1 km
                             Suckage                      |--------|