Ingism

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Approved by Kansas Board of Education
Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.


Ingism is the theory that one can add "-ing", a suffix, to verbs for use in the active present tense (e.g., run versus running). The name of this grammar usage is called gerund. Ingism goes one step further than gerund and declares any word can become a verb, nay, it is every words right to become a Ingism (Pronounced Ing-is-um...). Losely Based on Oscar Wildeism, the theory that anything said can be attributed to an author, It is one of the many theories that can only be proved correct just because it happens. Just as Oscar Wilde quotes from beyond the grave, a person can create a verb from any word in English and use it in a grammatically correct sentence.

Ingism's Origins[edit]

In the turbulent game of Myspace, feelings are thrusted upon one that are both exciting and arousing. Without the use of a Standardised emoticon communication system found in such other popular games such as MSN Messenger, Monopoly and Habbo Hotel it soon became clear that concepts such as sarcasm and excitement could not be properly expressed. There seemed only one solution, to create new words with instantly recognisable meanings and easy for those of a low IQ or Foreign nationality to understand.

Proof of Ingisms[edit]

An Ingism is a word that is a verb with -ing on the end, we know such words exist in everyday life, in fact they are so common that your mums probably slept with them all, examples of such words are known as Regular Ingisms. We know if there are Regular Ingisms then logic dictates there must be theoretically Be Iregular Verbs. If an English person says an Iregular Ingism then it becomes gets to become a real word and gets a badge, sash, crown and certificate.

Regular Ingisms[edit]

These are examples of Regular Ingisms, You will find these in dictionaries, ASDA, Tescos and all good newsagents and book shops:

  • Swimming
  • Swinging
  • Brushing
  • Pooping
  • Quoting
  • Mounting
  • Shouting
  • Doubting
  • Flouting

Iregular Ingisms[edit]

These are Iregular Ingisms, you will only find these in the forbidden Dictionaries and sometimes in puddles of milk spilt on shag pile carpets. See if you can guess what they mean, if you cant, you may be Idioting.

Forbidden Ingisms[edit]

It is generally forbidden to -ing a regular ingisms under pain of you going through the process of deathing. Such Nonsense words include:

  • Swimminging
  • Quasimodo
  • Paintinging
  • Poopinging

The Grey Area[edit]

A Source of much controversy is whether un'-ing'ed words ending in -ing can be '-ing'ed to become Iregular Ingisms or are already Regular Ingisms and so would then become Forbidden Ingisms, such words are:

  • Ing
  • Bling
  • Sing
  • Wing
  • Ding
  • Zing
  • Bing Crosby

Such argument has caused a rift in Ingismists (practitioners of Ingism), infact it was recently discovered that the word Inging (the action of adding '-ing' a word) might in fact be a Forbidden Ingism putting the whole concept in doubt. This discovering has caused mass Hysteriaing and Suiciding.