|A mysterious stranger has awarded you a slice of cake!|
The icing is extra-frosty!
The Inheritance Cycle is your typical story about some kid who lives in an isolated village with soon to be discovered magic powers and dubious parentage that lives in a world that has elves and dwarfs and giant snakes with four legs and wings that is under the control of some EEEEEEVVVVIIIIIIILLLLLL maniac that the kid has to beat with no help, no guns and no questions asked. Because ANYTHING else would be COMPLETE and UTTER COPYRIGHT (strange word, copyright is... OMG I'm turning into Yoda!!!) of a zillion other bad books. Oh and there's 4 bewks in the series. Or is there? Yes there is. _NOTOC_
Erogan (Oh yeah! That was the name of the kid!)
Errrrr.... Hmmmmm.... I think.... no course there wasn't!..... I'll let someone who's actually read the book to do this!
Oh I can't trust you with anything! Anyway this kid Eragon finds a giant blue snake eg (I'm going to keep changing it back to don't bother correcting the spelling) while hunting-
I thought it was supposed to have nearly crashed on top of his head and scared all of the deer away? And wasn't it a drago-
I thought you hadn't read the book?
I er... *incoherent mumbling*
I... watched the movie...
You traitor! go away and boil your bottom under a sillier person than you! Anyway, the eg hatches into a baby blue snake with wings and four legs which he-
A snake with wings and four legs is generally known as a drago-
Don't question me! I thought I told you to GO AWAY? Hm? ANYWAY, he brings it up for a bit then some servants of the evil emperor come to take him away so he can be a servant too. The flying snakey thing-
Shut it, midget! The flying snakey thing kidnaps Eragon-
I'm not a midget! And it's Eroga-
It's Eragon! And you are a midget, so act like one! The flying snakey thing kidnaps Eragon and while he's convincing her to take him back the servant people-
Shut up! The servant people attack Eragon's farm and torture Eragon's uncle for info. When he gets back he drags uncle to the village and faints. Then he escapes with some random old guy WHO IS IN NO WAY RELATED TO HIM who later gets killed (OMG). The snakey thing and Eragon and Brom (the old guy) do no ridiculous things like train or go to a big city. Brom dies after him and Eragon being rescued by (SPOILER) the son of Morzan. He's not important so you can forget about him. They rescue an elf go to the rebel's side fight some Urgle-y (HA) things, bless someone (WITH NOOOOOO MISTAKES) and thats the end of the book. Oh he gets his fortune told but none of it actually comes true.
But he does leave Alagaësia and fall in love with Arya who's a princes-
I give up!
Teh leader of the Varden dies (omg) Eragon turns into a tree (he's fine now) and he fights Murtagh who's now an enemy Dragon Rider (Advertiser) who nicks his sword.
He was important after-
Look, if you don't shut up, I'll destroy your Blu-Tac Snail!
I'm sure it was Brisi-
No it wasn't!
Eragon gets a new sword from someone who swore to never make a sword again, Oromis-sensei and Gladder-sensei get killed, it-
shut up! it turns out that Brom IS related to Eragon and the rebels invade some towns.
Eragon beats the bad guy (and there was much destruction), Arya has a dragon, Eragon leaves to train some more dragon Riderz. All in two year's work!
He's the main charac-
Hey! That's a lie! On the rules of Uncyclopedia it sa-
Omg you read them?
Eragon Garrowsson / Bromsson
The kid with magic powers. He gets the name 'Shadeslayer' after, guess what? Killing a shade! He gave himself the title: 'Vanquisher of Snails' though it was never used for official purposes. Also, he can't read.
The snake with four legs and wings that's bonded to Eragon.
SPOILER ALERT: He's a Dragon Rider, but he dies in the first book. He's also Eragon's father (Shock hover!)
An elf. She's a bit stuck up.
Well she is a-
Oi! let them read the book themselves so they can enjoy pointing each and every silly thing we've put!
Er.... I'm not sure you've noticed but we're the same per-
Oi! trade secrets!
He's not very important. Heck, he only killed almost 200 men single-handedly, take over Aroughs and help defeat the Ra'zac, but it pales in comparison to what the rest of the characters did. Take that!
She doesn't do much. But... SHE'S AGAINST THE FORCE!!!!
I think you got confused: The Force is from St-
Go away! She used Du Gata Vrangr to-
Isn't it Du Vra-
Du Gata Vrangr is the grammatically correct!
Hellooooooo!!!!!! I predict that the time at which you are reading this is: Thursday, the 21th of October in.. um... aha! yes: 2021 at about..... say... 12:34? No.... that's not right at all... Hmmm.... that's just the time of the last edit... I think.... Meeeehhh. Oh there's the King of the Werecats! cheep cheep!
He's AWESOME!!!!!! Look at his hair! He looks like the McDonalds guy!
It's crap. 'Nuff said. But I want the article to look long and impressive, so:
When you watch it, make a tally of all the bad things and the good things.
Bad things (counted up): 169
Good things (not counted up cuz someone's lazy like that): IIII
The four good things were:
1. Baby Saphira is cute!!!
2. Baby Saphira is cute!!!
3. Baby Saphira is cute!!!
4. Brom's hair is AWESOME!!!
WARNING! THIS BIT IS COMPLETELY POINTLESS AND NOT WORTH READING!
Because Eragon was turned into an elf-
Wait, you haven't said anything about that yet!
Well I said he'd been turned into a tree, didn't I?
Yes, but that doesn't mean that he'd turned into an elf-
It does in my book.
You know what I mean you idiot.
Yeah, I know. I was just saying that to drag this article on, ignoring the quality not quantity rule of Uncyclopedia.
Badman! Anyway, he was turned into an elf by two naked elven-
No he was not!
Well you haven't read the book, have you? Anyway the two elven girls with a tatoo of a flying snakey thing with four legs and wings somehow turned him into an elf and the best excuse the author could come up with was that it was the dragons. There aren't even any dragons in the books! Anyway-
Yes there are! What do you think are the things on the front cov-
They are flying snakey things with four legs and wings.
When are you going to accept the fact that there are dragons in this series?
Look, there aren't any dragons in the Inheritance Cycle" End of.
I thought we were supposed to be working together on this article. Even though we're the same perso-
What did I tell you about trade secrets?
Not to give them away to the readers...
Exactly! Now shut it! As I was saying, because Eragon is now an elf, he has to be a vegetarian because apparently it feels like you're eating yourself. Work that one out. Eragon completely ignores that and eats a lizard at the first opportunity.
I thought he was choking on it...
Where the hell did you get that one from?
The book, duh
I thought you hadn't read it.
Well you did write this article in December 2011, it's now 10/03/12 so I've had plenty of time to read it...
Idiot, I wrote this article in January.
No, it was definitely -
Before this arguement gets too out of hand, I have decided to end this article. Now why don't you have a look at this awesome and factually wrong page about rotten tangerines?