Intelligent Math

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Approved by Kansas Board of Education
Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.

Intelligent math is the concept that traditional mathematics is flawed because it is based on axioms and postulates which cannot be proved and that math should be derived from the Bible, for we know that the Bible is absolute truth.

The Sector Theory[edit]

Every date has a sector. Take Christmas, for example. Of 2006.

The Earth is 93,200,000 miles from the sun. So the circumference of the Earth's revolution is about...

Drop a few insignificant decimals its 292,796,435.315 The Earth travels about 292,796,435.315 miles in a year.

So 802,182.015 miles in a day (respect significant figures!) So at 12:00 early time this morning (february 7, 2007) christmas 2006 was 45 days in the PAST.

The Christmas sector was 36,098,190.675 miles away. BUT because of its past-like nature we must negate the result, causing it to become -36,098,190.675.

But time being as it is (what with CONTINUING and all) so must our calculations continue. 24 hours everyday have 60 minutes each.

This means that one day has 1440 minutes.

miles per minute of earth movement.

Time now is 4:30 PM, 16 hours and 30 minutes after 12:00 AM. So we must add (or, rather, subtract) the distance travelled in 990 minutes to our original calculation.

Which brings our final distance to -36,649,689.975

However, since time (and space) are on a continuum, this number will constantly increase (decrease, actually) forever.

For dates in the future, leave the result as a positive number, continually approaching 0 until the day arrives, then furthur continuing into the world of negativity.

This breakthrough has opened up a whole new area of business known as date purchase. Now, like never before, people will be able to buy date sectors and live them over and over again. Would you like to purchase the area in space in which the Earth will be on the date of your birthday! Bid now to purchase your own piece of space and OWN your birthday.

On the other hand, where did the 1980's happen and where are they now?


Raw Ed[edit]

Dr. Julius Beast, chief inspector of lunch and lunch schedules, has instituted a new curriculum at a very important school of thought, namely Raw Ed. It is quite mathematical. To view his assignments for the year or enroll in his class, please visit the digital locker and or talk to the man at the end of the road in the poncho. That's his cousin. Backwards, Cason is Nosac. View the practice problems at the bottom of this page as a summer assignment, then write three 600-900 essays about essays, some of which may or may not be essays about books. You must turn these in on the first day of class for to be fully prepared for the course work and syllabus.


Pi=3[edit]

The Bible is the Word of God and cannot be questioned.

“He made the Sea of cast metal, circular in shape, measuring ten cubits from rim to rim and five cubits high. It took a line of thirty cubits to measure around it.”
- 1 Kings 7:23 on Pi

From this we calculate that the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter is exactly 3. Obviously, the unbelievers' assertions that π is an "irrational number" is irrational. How could a number go on forever? It is simply absurd (so the arguement goes... and goes... and goes...)!

The Circumference of the Earth[edit]

Now we begin to consider the empirical evidence for Intelligent Math.

We know the Earth to be a circle with a diameter of 12,756.270 km (7,972.668 mi.). With our new, more accurate value of pi, we discover that the Earth has a circumference of 38,268.81 km (23,918.006 mi.). However, we also know that the circuference of the Earth is 40,075.004 km (25,046.878 mi.).

Thus, we can only conclude that:

Thus,

2+2=5[edit]

You have heard it been said that 2 plus 2 traditionally equals 4. However:

Now we can discard the antiquated 2+2=4.

Practice Problems[edit]

Solutions soon to come!

1. Find the quadratic formula of pipi.
2. Find the orange of b.
3. Solve f(conjunction junction)
4. Find the quotient of e in Z8.
5. What color is the blue whale's pelvis?
6. Is there a cow level?
7. Modify the phase variance of Avogadro's Number.
8. Pause the recession of a lateral congruency.
9. Plug in the hot pocket variable into f squared.
10. Flow Einstein's theory of repulsion in f# melodic minor.
11. Harmonize "Happy Birthday" to the power of x.
12. Give your math teacher a cookie. With style.
13. Determine the composition of an algebraic IV6.
14. Describe the asymptote of the exponential formula b^am!
15. Evaluate pi(pi^pi3x451826)^k=yx1824
16. Deduce the geometry verb to the power of 20.
17. Predict the outcome of 42 dice rolled in unison and in thirds.
18. Make a number line of the juice margin, not including real numbers.
19. A dog needs a home. Build him a theoretical doghouse using mud and sod. Determine the radius of the door if the hinges remain open at 24º.
20. Find the surface area of a spherical mushroom. Show it to the class.
21. Design a verbal model for the Pythagorean Theorem, using only being verbs.
22. Convert a gallon to kilometers making sure to respect significant figures.
23. Observe a tertiatic exponent under a microscope, avoiding corrosive substances at all costs. Justify your conclusion.
24. Determine the intrinsic determinant of anomalies embedded within the infrastructural mainframes, omitting any flux cycles. Comment upon your results. Create a bibliographic entry sample for it, categorizing it as an unsigned essay throughout. Sign the essay.
25. Find the past perferct progressive form of x.
26. Identify a (passing tone)2.
27. Resolve the i6 orange alert for all real numbers.
28. Evaluate the MEXICAN FACTOR (i!).
29. Determine the fatal puncture probability of a stage dive by Craig Jones.
30. Break the rules of x=y.
31. Why was 0 afraid of 1?
32. Create a model for the half-life of TFMF (pipii!).
33. Find the wow spectrum.
34. Calculate the probability of a red letter day in 2007. in 2008. Compare your answers and convert the difference to moles.
35. Discover the law of conservation of prison time ceteris paribus without eligibility for parole.
36. Find the Asian Advantage in ping-pong using the Chinese Industrial Increase Factor and the Overly Athletic Baby Probability.
37. Reconcile differences between C-4 and C4 in a therapeutic manner. Organize results in a data table.
38. Using the scietific method, devise a plan for the liberation of Russia on a scale of 1:100,000 people per potato. Incorporate the Trans-Siberian Railroad and/or Orchestra and present your plans to a council. Remember to preserve chip factories.
39. Solve the quadratic formula using the mass of the unkown. Find all possible ions and isotopes.
40. Convert Euros to Street Cred. Adjust for inflation and respect significant figures.
41. Find the lostprophets.
42. Prove beyond a reasonable doubt that math is the universal language. present your case to a judge and jury.
43. Create a step function for Mary Had A Little Lamb in F# Major. Transpose for Bb Trumpet.
44. Graph a mushroom.
45. Find the Devil's log (for common logarithims).
46. Create a statistical anomaly, giving respects to x as a coefficiant of all probable radiations from center, C, of a polynomial symptomatic septum. Integrate all limits of c-span and nineteeth century British Parliament.
47. Prove the Riemann hypothesis using the Tamaya-Shimura conjecture. Integrate and differentiate the results with all possible derivatives and state the counter-example to the exception.
48. How have retrospective recessions of the tree-line on Mt. Everest affected corruption on the custodial level? Consider both Western and Eastern philosophical traditions.
49. Calculate Graham's number to the millionth digit. 50. What is the derivative of undefined? 51. Is the infinity undefined? 55. What is the derivative of an algebraic equation over infinity over undefined over e=mc^2?