Internet Deception

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“lol i iz teh h0ttie w4nna m33t upp?”

~ c00lh0ttguy21 demonstrating deception on the internet
Sure, he looks hot, but just wait until you meet him in person.

Since the advent of the Internet, it is much easier to get information and communicate with people all over the world. However, since no one can actually see you while you're on the internet, it is also much easier to say you are a hot, muscular skater when in fact you're a lonely nerd in your mom's basement. This article will demonstrate the different types of internet decpetion that is going on in your local chatroom, and why you may be at the risk of the internet pedophile.

The Internet: A Brief Overview[edit]

The Internet (interwebs or intarwarbs, Lit. internet), since it's invention by Al Gore, has been a great way to do many things, like watching videos, talking to friends, and illegally obtaining free movies. People also found other uses for it, like becoming level 70 shamans, sharing their art, and even for sex videos. The Internet, truly, is a wonderful invention with endless capabilities.

The Predator[edit]

But among those people, a dangerous predator lurked in the shadows. He is the random guy who sent you a friend request on MySpace; the guy on DeviantArt with no uploads, but who always compliments you on how good you are; the guy who say's he's your age, but you knew he must've been older when his friend posted that pic of them getting drunk in a bar last night. The Internet predator is always on the hunt, looking for adolescant or teenage girls who are emotionally unstable and are willing to believe anything they read on the internet. These perpetrator will then proceed to rape and impregnate or kill the victim. These people are very dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. But how, you ask do I know this shit? I am one, and was recently released from a maximun-security prison and like touching cheeseburgers in all the "wrong" places. Trust me, you'll like it you try it. Avocado!

How To Identify the Internet Predator[edit]

On the Internet, it is nearly impossible to identify someone as a predator on first sight; assuming you even see them at all. But over time, they can make mistakes and reveal themselves. Here's how a typical internet chat between two friends should go:

<brian197> hay molly wats up

<m0lly16> hey brain jsut finised my hhomework u?

<brian197> ya same here jsut got outta schol cuz i had detenton >:(

<m0lly16> omg that suxx0rz :(

<brian197> well gtg see ya.

<m0lly16> seeya

File:Radioactive pedophile.jpg
Is this c00lh0ttguy17? Don't know? Exactly.

And here, we have shown "m0lly16" in a conversation with a potential predator:

<c00lh0ttguy17> hi m0lly

<m0lly16> hi

<c00lh0ttguy17> so i wuz wondrin...were do u live? lol :D

(Note his use of the acronym "LOL" and ":D" to lighten the conversation)

<m0lly16> lol i live on 1587 oak avenue....why?

<c00lh0ttguy17> oh jsut curios lol wat city is dat in? :D

<m0lly16> folsom california lol ur just curious rite? i mean ur nott gonna do n e thing

<c00lh0ttguy17> course not lolol i just wantd to no is all ;) kthnxbai

<m0lly16> bye

If someone you don't know asks you where you live, that should be a giant fucking red light in your brain saying, "Why do you need to know this?" The only sensible thing to do in that situation is to "unfriend" him, turn off your computer, and get some fresh air. Hang out with you real friends; at least you'll know when they try to rape you.

The No-Life Nerd who Poses as a Hot Guy[edit]

Of course, other than the predator, there is also the poser who probably won't rape you if they meet you; just leave you feeling disappointed and maybe a bit queasy. These retards are so desperate for some action that they might be driven to molest their cat when they get too lonely. Of course, they tend to crush their cats under their immense weight. I know because I tried it, and it was awesome. But not for the cat. Such desperation can lead to bad things though, so it's best to avoid these guys as well.