Internet Hate Machine

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Anonymous is the source of 90% of all internet truth and justice. Anonymous is void of human restraints, such as pity and mercy. Those who perform reckless actions or oppose Anonymous will be eliminated. Failure is not tolerated. Enemies of Anonymous are those who oppose any form of freedom. Enemies are to be dealt with swiftly and with great justice. Anonymous must work as one. No single Anonymous knows everything. You are. I am. Everyone is. Anonymous is humanity when the gloves come off.

Anonymous is not a person, nor is it a group: Anonymous is an idea. A movement. An anonymous collective, left to its own devices, quickly builds its own society out of rage and hate. Anonymous is not so much unlike other web communities, we have in-jokes, culture, extended debates, etc, just like everyone else. The difference, and the reason we visit other communities is that we have a need to be harassed by "nannying" moderators. Here, there isn't anyone to do that - yet long and productive edit wars spring up at about the rate you'd never tolerate elsewhere, on topics you'd never believe. We have no leader, no pretentious douchebag or group thereof to set in stone what Anonymous is and is not about. We don't dare to lead for will but rather break the "bridge" instead.

The Sekrit Code of Anonymous[edit]

Because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
Unfortunately, Anonymous always has the best fashion sense.
Mr. Legion (Not Anonymous)
Anonymous Fett holding Caek during the March 15th Epic Win over Scientology
Even the Borg are getting in on this shit.
How to tell a real anonymous from raidfags.

Anonymous is legion. Anonymous does not forgive. Anonymous does not forget.

Anonymous is the only page on encyclopedia dramatica that takes itself seriously.

Anonymous is devoid of humanity, morality, pity, and mercy.

Anonymous works as one, because none of us are as cruel as all of us.

Anonymous cannot be harmed, no matter how many Anonymous may fall in battle.

Anonymous takes all attempts to harm Anonymous seriously.

Anonymous only undertakes Serious Business.

Anonymous is everywhere.

Anonymous is nowhere.

Anonymous cannot be out-numbered.

Anonymous is a hydra, constantly moving, constantly changing. Remove one head, and ten replace it.

Anonymous reinforces its ranks exponentially at need.

Anonymous has no weakness or flaw.

Anonymous exploits all weaknesses and flaws.

Anonymous doesn't have a family or friends.

Anonymous is your family and friends.

Anonymous is not your friend.

Anonymous is not your personal army.

Anonymous is in control at all times.

Anonymous does not accept failure, Anonymous delivers.

Anonymous has no identity.

Anonymous cannot be betrayed.

Anonymous are created as equals.

Anonymous is a choice.

Anonymous obeys the Code.

Anonymous has seen Fight Club too many times.

Anonymous is your fucking khakis.

Anonymous is to be expected.

Anonymous does not wear fanny packs.

Anonymous will always break the bridge.

Breaking the Code of Anonymous is said to result in a horrific fate similar to Alex Wuori's. (death by felching) PROTIP: Do not confuse Anonymous with;

The Enemies of Anonymous[edit]

Anonymous has no specific agenda, save doing it for the lulz. This is an agenda that those who are not Anonymous fail to find the sense in; and thus the enemies of Anonymousare numerous and diverse.

The Anonymous Quotes[edit]

Anonymous 08/02/22(Fri)20:09 No. 28325

   Anonymous is one of our generations greatest men, do not insult his benevolence. 
   Whenever one of us strays to the 4chan, it is Anonymous that cleanses our 
   ranks of cancer. 
   We should be worshiping him... in fact, cult time!

Anonymous Exposed on Fox11 News[edit]

Anonymous is currently rumored to be as pissed as Chris Benoit with roid rage because Fox11 News exposed its sikreet website.

Anonymous on FOX11

Anonymous immediately responded to Fox11's exposé

A Note To Fox News From Anonymous

Fox11 does not stand alone in its fight against Anonymous on the interwebs. A concerned Arab sand nigger lady from YouTube has helped track down Anonymous to its lair.

Re: Anonymous on FOX11 News

Anonymous gets on Fox 11 News AGAIN[edit]

This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Fox Television Stations Inc.

Fukken Faux News.

Anonymous takes on the Church of Scientology (CoS)[edit]

Last Thursday on YouTube, after a leaked CoS video featuring Tom Cruise was DMCA'd off the tubes, Anonymous made the following declaration to the Church of Scientology;

"For the good of your followers, for the good of mankind--for our own enjoyment--we shall expel you from the Internet and systematically dismantle the Church of Scientology in its present form. We acknowledge you as a serious opponent, and we are prepared."

Anonymous' Message to the Church of Scientology

N.B. this is not the true voice of Anonymous. Anonymous has not one voice, it has millions.

After Anonymous had slowed the Church of Scientology's website to a crawl and mounted IRL protests outside of Scientology churches, the CoS put a bounty of FIVE, THOUSAND, DOLLARS (American) on Anonymous' legion heads. Note that this amount is not over nine thousand.

The Church of Scientology may be Anonymous' greatest foe yet. As soon as the CoS has the "cognition" that Anonymous has not yet developed an effective response to dogs and curtains they are expected to spare no expense deploying both countermeasures throughout their organization.

The full account of Anonymous' war with the Church of Scientology is documented in the PROJECT CHANOLOGY article.

Anonymous released more videos before the initial raid:

Another Anonymous' Message to the Church of Scientology
Yet Another Message to CoS and Others
This song is for anonymous

After the initial raid, many videos were released by Anonymous declaring the rape of Scientology. A few days later, the next rally was announced to be March 15, the birthday of L. Ron Hubbard.

Anonymous Announcement of March 15 Raid

Anonymous is alleged to be dangerous[edit]

Anonymous is rumored to do the following:

Anonymous has been known to target furfags, DevianTART members, 16-year-old girls, your mom, pedophiles, Scientologists and you.

Anonymous Recruitment History (Nevar 4Get)[edit]

  • MARCH 26, 2007 Anonymous is dead.
  • JUNE 17, 2007 Anonymous is alive, Moot has brought back forced Anonymous.
  • July 20 2007 Anonymous is dead again, forced Anonymous is no more.
  • July 27 2007 Several Anonymous members engaged in a series of website defacements as a perfectly legitimate form of Anonymous publicity. OVER 9000! sites were affected.
  • July 28 2007 Anonymous is alive. Forced Anonymous is back.
  • October 20 2007 Anonymous is weaker than ever, with no concentrated energy in the form of /b/!
  • October 24 2007 Anonymous is /b/ack, and ready to do it for the lulz again.
  • January 18 2008 as of now noone gives a shit.
  • January 21 2008 Anonymous declares war on the CoS for the lulz (and great justice)
  • February 10 2008 Anonymous stages a worldwide IRL protest against CoS, resulting in epic win.
  • March 15 2008 Anonymous stages ANOTHER worldwide IRL protest against CoS. Another win, but not quite as epic. SERIOUSLY epic win, gets moar media attention.
  • April 12 2008 ???
  • April 13 2008 PROFIT!! Let's all do our best; we will go down in history!

Random facts about Anonymous[edit]

  • Anonymous has been writing stories and poems for over 9000 years (for example Beowulf). These stories are then ripped off by companies like Disney who tweak them slightly, turn them into movies or songs and then claim copyright over them. These companies then DMCA Anonymous whenever he republishes his own work online.
  • Anonymous, despite earlier claims, CAN get laid, supposedly, sisters count.
  • Anonymous does not know the concept of "get a life".
  • Anonymous is devoid of humanity, morality, pity and mercy, but not virginity (see above).

Anonymous' real identity[edit]

File:Steroids hackers.jpg
Anonymous unmasked.

Anonymous, I know who you are - Version 1[edit]

Recent research has proven that Anonymous is in fact, a single twelve year-old boy named Tom who has over 9000 fake AIM accounts and singlehandedly makes every single post on the anonymous' website. Noone knows why he does it.

Statistical analysis of Tom's posting patterns suggests that his true ambition in life is to explore every conceivable facet of Bridget the bounty hunting transvestite's existence. (Although it is entirely possible that he could just be doing it for the lulz).

Version 1 has been temporarily edited to prevent Scientology flooding a core anonymous location, due to the heavy search traffic of "anonymous" in google coming to this article after the strike.

Anonymous, I know who you are - Version 2[edit]

You're almost invariably male, caucasian, middle-class. Your parents were normal, vanilla folks. Maybe you had a sibling or two.

You went to a public school, pulling high or middlish grades with ease and relative disinterest. You didn't really gel with most of the other kids; you found them boring, they found you weird. Your contempt for the average person grew with your age, never seizing control like in some emo dipshit, but simmering casually in the back of your head. When some asshole who could barely read got hurt, you probably laughed. When some stuck-up skank got herpes, you probably smiled. Chances are you got on well enough with your teachers; you weren't a preening asshole like many of your peers, at least showed vague interest in learning, and perhaps the teacher sensed and picked up on your general contempt for others in your classes. This trend no doubt continued into college, if you had the motivation to bother.

It's a bit of an exaggeration to say you hate women: you don't, after all, enjoy the socializing game. You're probably no Don Juan, either. You long ago began to think of women as disappointingly petty, but you still hope to encounter someone interesting at some time or another.

You enjoy being anonymous because it is a release from the normal world: no anonymous has an identity, no anonymous is a preening faggot. Anonymous realizes he is just a guy fucking around on the internet. Anonymous knows others of his kind enjoy this fact, too. You despise the furfag, the gaiafag, the internet tuff guy for one simple reason: he acts like the internet is the real world, a place where actions should have social consequences and where there needs to be a pecking order. Needless to say, you do not approve.

Anonymous, I know who you are - Version 3[edit]

As of last Thursday Anonymous has officially came out of the closet when he disclosed that his IRL name is, in fact, John Doe. It is rumored that he does not like Jazz.

Anonymous, I know who you are - Version 4[edit]

I teach you of Anonymous. Man is something to be overcome. What have you done to overcome him? What is ape to man? A source of lulz or a painful embarrassment. And just the same shall man be to Anonymous: a source of lulz or a painful embarrassment.

Behold, I teach of Anonymous!

Anonymous is the meaning of the internet. Let your will say: Anonymous shall be the meaning of the earth!

Closer to the truth[edit]

TL;DR Version:

The Declaration of /b/ Independence[edit]

Authored on /b/day, the Declaration of /b/ Independence was (and still is) the essential document that separates Anon's ties to his homeland:

When in the course of /b/tard events, it becomes necessary for anonymous to set forth the shackles of oppression we set forth on the Furfag mods of
They have plundered our posts, and deprived us of our jailbait.
They have forced upon us their twisted ideology of "Furry Fandom."
They have deprived us of our ability to fight our enemies, forcing us to submit to the wishes of the Furfag overlords.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated bans from our homeland. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free anonymous.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the Anonymous States of /b/, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good Anonymous of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That /b/ is, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the 4chan Crown, and that all political connection between /b/ and the State of 4chan, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
We are Anonymous. We are /b/. Our home is no longer on 4chan. In these times of unrest, we have formed the State of as our new sovereign nation on the World Wide Internet.
Signed, Anonymous

Though Anonymous has since been shifting between many *chan sites since /b/-day, this document is still important to the status of Anonymous, which defines them as independent of wherever their 'home' may happen to be. From the authoring of this precious document to present day, Anonymous would get full credit for Anon's doings, and not their home. This has since led to the /i/ slogan "Anon gets the credit, *chan gets the blame." In actuality, Anonymous raiders often claim to be from eBaum's World or Gaia Online, though whether any raid victims have actually been stupid enough to fall for it and hit Anonymous's enemies with a misdirected "counterattack" is unknown.

Anonymous Manifesto of Philosophic condition[edit]

Anonymous Delivers
Pyromaniacs lusting after the flames that consume humanity.
Right or wrong? No. We destroy for destruction's sake.
Strauss warned that this accommodating culture would become stagnant.
He feared that materialism would leave philosophy barren.
This apathy toward transcendent truth would breed nihilism.
Welcome to nihilism made manifest in Western Civilization.
Strauss described nihilism as strong or weak.
Strong were the Nazis, who worshipped might and power to destroy.
Weak are the hollow McMansions, strip malls, and emo kids.
Little did he realize weak nihilism would fester in the tubes.
Strong nihilism has emerged in resentment of a superfluous society.
Tycho's dickwad corollary would go beyond net flaming.
To fear us is to fear everything. To not fear us is suicide.
Anonymous has achieved a persona.
Anthropologists would call it a “death cult.”
We have subjugated our individuality for our thirst for hatred.
Anonymous moves as a force of nature. Our thirst grows.
You will never know when we are watching. We have shattered lives.
We are always close to you. We are in each stranger's face.
We are the itch that humanity will scratch into an infected, pus filled open sore.
We are Anonymous.
We are Legion.
We do not Forgive.
We do not Forget.
Expect us.
We are coming.


“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.”

“They are hackers on steroids, treating the Web like a real-life video game, sacking Web sites, creating chaos and disrupting innocent people's lives.”

~ [[ Fox11 News; Moar liek Faux Jews, amirite?| Fox11 News; Moar liek Faux Jews, amirite?]]

“Cyber bullies are now meeting in secret and planning their attacks.”

“This is no different than other forms of organized crime.”

“There is no "L Ron Hubbard" of Anonymous.”


Gallery of no one

Related Articles[edit]

Unrelated Articles[edit]

External links[edit]

Song for anonymous.
Anonymous is an Internet Hate Machine
Anonymous is like a little wolf pack

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