Invasion of Uncyclopedia
|Invasion of Uncyclopedia|
|Conflict: The Un-Wiki War|
|Date: September 11 2001 til' December 4 2003|
|Outcome: Barely a Uncyclopedia Victory, This page does not exist huffed, many articles vandalized|
|Uncyclopedia Defense Force, Uncyclopedian Resistance||The Wikipedia Confederation|
|Oscar Wilde, Me, Deadpool, Chuck Norris †, Samus Aran, Captain Picard, and Mario Mario||George W. Bush, You, Expert vandalizer †, Jimbo Wales †|
|550,000 Uncyclopedians, 3 Grues, 1 Kitten †||100,000 Wikipedians, 125 Tanks, 1,000 aircraft|
|439,725 Uncyclopedians, Kitten Huffed||25,000, Wikipedians, 109 Tanks, 913 aircraft, expert vandalizer|
|Invasion of Uncyclopedia - Battle of Euroipods - Ridgeway Region - The Battle of AAAAAAAA! - Conflict of Your Mom - Battle of Garbageland - Battle of Uncyclopedia|
The Invasion of Uncyclopedia (January 1, 2000 to Dec. 4, 2003) was a great victory for Uncyclopedia during The Uncyclopedia Campaign. This definitive battle raged on for 3 years and would mark the beginning of the The Un-Wiki War.
George Bush and You were Wikipedia's leaders, planning the fall of Uncyclopedia. The best they could find trained the drunk Wikipedians to cast frotz, use Anti-InJoke (AIJ) Missiles, light cannons, and extreme sarcasm deflectors. Out of pure rage at Uncyclopedia for offending Your Mom, you sent an expert wiki vandaliser to vandalize anything that wasn't asploded. The Uncyclopedians were unprepared as You knew, and George Bush took full advantage, exploiting this weakness. Their mission was to lay siege to our beloved wiki and destroy every true fact inside. But this battle turned into the bloodiest defeat for The Uncyclopedians. Too bad the training was lost after the WikiSoldiers read their own Wiki.
As the Wikipedia Army approached, the Uncyclopedians were busy making complete and helpful facts. But then, the walls of the Main Page collapsed, and the entire Uncyclopedia Army was caught by surprise. The Uncyclopedians were well armed, using Slaxes, Sporks, and of course AAAAAAAA! The Wikipedians were well trained spending four months reading the doubleplusuntruths of Wikipedia and were used as axes by the admins to cut through the enemy. Most of the initial invading ground troops had been armed with phasers and also a small number of nerf guns. These weapons proved highly effective against the valiant defenders. Due to the oversight of the invading army commanders, the WikiMotars fired their AIJ launchers at their very own faces, causing 5,000 deaths. But, then tragedy struck. The Wikipedians created This page does not exist, luring 1,000,000,000 Uncyclopedians into it. In the resulting ambush, a thousand wikipedians were killed, as were 987,654,321 Uncyclopedians.
Predictably, the admins of Uncyclopedia huffed the article, springing the WikiTrap, killing everyone inside, Wikipedian and Uncyclopedian on both sides used the mesas on the outskirts of the wiki by digging into them to create protective cover. Five months later, the battle turned into an all out bloodbath for Uncyclopedia, after the Uncyclopedians tried to drop a Nuke on the Wikipedians, but it blew up in the Uncyclopedians face, killing thousands. The Wikipedians, who haven't seen their wiki in days, gained their knowledge back. With the new knowledge, They proceeded to attack The Game, and turning it into rubbish. Mostly everything was fine for Uncyclopedia, until the expert vandalizer came into the fray. He added a B to AAAAAA!, turned PS3 into an article of praise, huffed Optimus Prime, blanked Oscar Wilde, and worst of all, huffed Grue! The vandal's, emo rays turned many Uncyclopedians into emos, who as hurting, beautiful individuals, killed themselves.
Finally, a brave kitten scratched the vandal to death, only to be huffed by Oscar Wilde. The Uncyclopedians were ready for anything, or so they thought. Wikipedia forces were now taught how to use extreme sarcasm. However, their stupidity had them dead before you could say "spork." The Uncyclopedians launched a counter-strike, but all of them were slaughtered by a rain of Elvish arrows. One of the most famous acts of stupidity during the war was an unknown Uncyclopedian commanders' decision to continue to charge the Wikipedians as he watched his men fall to the bows of the Elven archers. Seeing their foes' forces destroyed, the Wikipedians charged, smashing through the Uncyclopedians.
Fun Part Uncyclopedian Retaliation
In response to the latest attack, Uncyclopedia loosed hundreds of grues, monsters, WMDs, catgirls, and giant robots on the invading army. This first assault failed, and the Wikipedians struck back with direct attacks on the larger Uncyclopedian articles. Meanwhile, the Imperial Penguin Army prepared to attack from behind, as Admiral Pingu let loose the might of the penguins onto the rampaging Wikipedians from behind. The grues were devoured by Wikipedians by the thousand, as they were vastly outnumbered. Also, the dastardly Wikipedians managed to destroy them using light beams, Darwinism and the theory of evolution, proving that "it is biologically impossible for Grues to exist", with help from a Morbidly Obese Penguin. This move alone decimated the Grue ranks. But in the nick of time, Uncyclopedia received reinforcements from the close-at-hand Transformers Wiki and from Deadpool's mercenary army, and the reinforcements combatted the Wikipedians with smart image captions and stupid "trukk not munky" jokes. At the same time, Admirals Pingu and Pinga airlifted the Scary Red Walrus™ (FSRW™) into the thick of battle, while the remaining spork-wielding catgirls and Log Virus Guns used the panic sowed by the FSRW™ to inflict damage upon Wikipedia's talk pages. Haru, leader of the catgirl's stealth assault managed to wound even Jimbo Wales, who killed her by disputing her factual accuracy.
Escalation and Resolution
Things looked bad for the Uncyclopedians. With the FSRW© merged with the "Pingu" article, the catgirl's factual accuracy disputed, and the Transformers nerds gone, the few remaining Uncyclopedians braced themselves for the end. Jimbo's top bot accounts had ripped through any resistance they encountered, and were gradually merging the articles together, and eventually Uncyclopedia would be assimilated into Wikipedia! It was up to the brave
geeks in their basements Uncyclopedian warriors to hit Wikipedia hard and fast.
The first few Wikipedian stubs were quickly and quietly huffed by the commando crew, before moving on into the heart of Wikipedia. The combined wrath of the
nerds killed many an Uncyclopedian, but the Uncyclopedians cut a swath of vandalism through the wiki, before launching the final assault on Jimbo Wale's user page. It was a long, hard, battle fought, with countless reversions and hundreds of biting personal remarks. But Jimbo, with his talk page mortally wounded and Wikipedia in need of repair, pulled the bots out of Uncyclopedia before retreating.
The next day, Weyoun ordered the Jem'Hadar to rampage through Uncyclopedia. During the assault, hundreds of thousands of Uncyclopedians were killed, and millions were injured. Much of Uncyclopedia was left in ruins.
Thankfully Uncyclopedians were able to kill off many Jem'Hadar, repair some of the damage after the attacks, with many of the articles vandalized by the "expert" WikiOperative being restored to their original majestic state, including:
- The Game (Restored, then destroyed)
- AAAAAAA! (B wiped off the face of the earth)
- PS3 (Turned back into a giant rant)
- Grue (Re-written)
- Optimus Prime (rewritten as well)
- All other articles- separated once again
You also went to the wall of shame in Wikipedia, going to the bathroom, and did something. To salute the casualties, even though nobody cares, Uncyclopedia made one really huge link that lead to Oscar Wilde, but was really stupid and redundant, and is the link you're reading right now that's really huge, stupid, and redundant. The kitten that was huffed was saluted burning a dog,while Pingu received a medal of honor for his actions in the war. The day after the battle, 1000 other dogs were burned alive to honor the fallen Uncyclopedians.
This battle left many families grieving for lost loved ones, causing many of the bereaved to subsequently sign up to join the army during the Great Vengeance Draft. Chuck Norris also joined the war effort too, though many claim not out of patriotism but rather for the roundhouse practice, which he gained by kicking multitudes of Wikipedian soldiers. Chuck Norris gained fame as a clever commander, and rose up through the ranks.Chuck Norris would later lead the Uncyclopedians to their worst and bloodiest defeat. Patriotically, many Wikipedians also joined the war, seeing Uncyclopedian Army's ravaged ranks as easy pickings.
Notable Veterans of the Invasion
- This Guy
- Babs and Buster Bunny (first aviators in the war)
- Captain Picard
- Oscar Wilde
- Great and Mighty Sophia
- Chuck Norris
- Jack Bauer
- Tom and Jerry (first MGM animals in a war)
- Samus Aran (first woman to be in the war)
- Mario Mario
- Luigi Mario
- Shigeru Miyamoto
- Captain Falcon
- The Spaceballs
- Han Solo
- 300 Spartans
- Master Chief
- Marcus Fenix
- Dominic Santiago
- Willy on Wheels
- Jimbo Wales
- Bart Simpson
- Martin Prince
- <insert name here>
- Captain Kirk
- Your mom
- Rocket J. Squirrel
- Bullwinkle J. Moose
- Jack Thompson (dies 10 seconds later because everyone hates him)
- Wario Wario
- Waluigi Wario
- Fred Phelps
- Haldir of Lorien
- The Smurfs
- Luke Skywalker
- Independence Day aliens
- Sonic The Hedgehog
- Miles "Tails" Prower
“SPARTANS!! TONIGHT, WE DINE, IN UNCYCLOPEDIA!!!!”
“COME ON SMURFS!! Give Uncyclopedia the destruction of THEIR LIVES!!”
“HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Sonic's the name, speed's my game!”