Inverse Reality Theory
Inverse Reality Theory was created by a man named Melvin the Destroyer in 15th century China to be nonconformist and to piss off the rest of humanity by creating arguments which are utterly pointless.
The Basic Principles
The basic principles of Inverse Reality Theory are thus:
- The surface of the Earth is actually inside the sphere, not the outside as others suggest.
- The Sun is in the center of the sphere and it emits gravity, another theory known as Reverse Gravity made popular by Melvin the Destroyer
- Everything fits inside this space because everything expands and retracts in this space accordingly.
- Day and night shift occurs because the sun consists of two phases, Sun Phase I and Sun Phase II.
Melvin the Destroyer was playing Uno with the Pope and Oscar Wilde, who said there had to be a better explanation to understanding the workings of the universe. Melvin then sucker punched the Pope and left for a forty year journey of the Earth to discover the truth of the universe. Towards the end of his life, while in the middle of one of his daily drinking binges, he realized the truth.
He left for the Vatican to explain his new theory to the Pope. But when he heard it, the Pope was so afraid of what this could do to the Church. He ordered Melvin to be hung in front of a live studio audience. Fortunately, the Pope is very prone to sucker punches and Melvin escaped to Canada.
While he was there he gained many followers, but many were still to afraid to accept his theory. He told his followers that he would leave to the northern wastelands and wait there until the world accepted his theory. Many of them went with him. He preached to them while standing underneath a lone, maple tree.