Invisible Pink Unicorn
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||But You Found God! And he strongly supports this article.|
The Invisible Pink Unicorn is an unlikely phenomenon where pink unicorns appear. The phenomena ranges from shades of pink on walls to riding the unicorn. This can be grouped into several categories of severity. The word "invisible" draws from the fact that no other person can see the unicorn other than the victim.
The Invisible Pink Unicorn is also the fastest growing religion within entire world, despite constant attempts at stemming the massive amounts of children who see these Pink Unicorns. Symptoms are similar to that of Christian children who think Jesus is talking to them, except usually not as severe.
Categories of Severity
- 1-The Victim will see faint shades of pink on walls. A Once in a lifetime experience.
- 2-The Victim will see a pink moving blur on the walls. Will Occur Few Times in the Victim's Life
- 3-The Victim will see a pink silhouette of a unicorn on the walls. Will Once a year on average.
- 4-Same as Level 3, Except that sounds can be heard. Will Occur Once a Month on average.
- 5-A Pink Figure will Appear in the room. Will Occure Twice a Month on average.
- 6-An Actual Unicorn Will Appear to be in the Room. Will Occur Once A Week.
- 7-The Victim will be riding the Unicorn. Will Occur Daily.
Who Experiences this Phenomenon?
- Crack Addicts
- Girls Under 9 Years Old
- Regular Unicorns
- People with Dyslexia.
- Homosexual Pandas
- El Presidente
Is it Real?
No. After years of research, scientists have concluded that this phenomenon is, in fact, unreal. It is a hallucanation caused by dreams of unicorns. Crack Addicts may have this because they are high. Face it, unicorns are not real. Stop having fantasies. Magic ain't real, kid. Do you imagine God is real as well? Face it! Those dreams are no good either. (In other words, its real, but no one wants to think its real!)
Wait? Oscar Wilde saw Pink Unicorns?
For some unknown reason, Eating pork can decrease the severity of the phenomena. This was first discovered when Jack Thompson was eating pork with his family. He had seen pink unicorns in his room once a week. But after eating a ham dinner, he only saw silhouettes of unicorns on the walls. He ate more pork and it was completely gone.
Some fools believe this actually PROVES the existence of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, because She doesn't like pepperoni on Her pizza, and thus consumption of pork would ward Her off. This just doesn't make any sense though. Who doesn't like pepperoni?
in addition, eating spaghetti also decreases the chances of seeing this. This may be down to The invisible pink unicorn's long standing rivalry with the flying spaghetti monster. They are not friends.