Ironicles

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Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Ironicles. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.

Ironicles is an ancient Grecian philosopher most famously known for his study of feminism.

Ironicles criticised ancient Greece, claiming that it was a place "where the women feel beauty is wrong, where the horses ride men, and who the Hell invited the reindeer?".

But perhaps more significantly he delved into the psyche of homosexuals, enjoying a long, tempestuous relationship with his lover Fredicles.

Ironicles's death is probably the most exciting thing about the life of this singularly rather dull Greek fag. He was cleaning his sword one day (perhaps preparing for a duel with Klimticles, who had stolen away his man) when suddenly a knock came at his door. Thinking it was the milkman, who he had been doing for quite some time, he flung open the door, the sword still in his hand. However, when confronted with the sight of his ancient nemesis, Herodotus, Ironicles tripped backwards and landed on the point of his sword. The phrase "impaled upon one's own sword!" is then possibly related back to Ironicles's death, but is most likely related back to somewhere entirely different.

A passage from Ironicles's famous book, O Lover, Why Dost Thou Thwart Me? (A note before proceeding. All of Ironicles' work is presented through song and dance):

When all the women are dead and gone
And men survive, all the day long
We will not fight for your embrace
But surely, put you in your place
For who needs 'females'* anyway?

Note: Ironicles did not believe in the word 'female'.

You leave us when we're old and grey
To copulate with other blokes
What can I say to my old folks?
'Your dinner invites I must ignore,
Sorry, my bloody wife's a whore!'