Isaac Brock

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Isaac Brock looks just like Darcy.

“He is the Walrus.”

Isaac Brock (born on July 9, 1977 on the third moon of Jupiter) is the lemonade salesman for one of Coca-Cola's many small subdivisions on that moon.

When he was a child, Brock worked in a mine, as the laws of Jupiter's third moon state that all children must be locked underground until they are able to have coherent conversations. Unfortunately, Brock never developed this skill, and instead spoke only in poetic prose with a heavy lisp. Around this time, Isaac escaped from the mine and went to work at an independent Mouse packaging company in the West of the Third Moon. When the Mouse packaging factory was flooded, after years of plumbing problems attributed to penguins, Isaac met Eric Judy and Jeremiah Green, two rebellious youths without a cause. Together, being the useless teenagers that they were, they attacked old women, stole their fruit collections, ruined them by biting into them repeatedly, then returned them. In March, 1999, a 97-year-old woman filed a police report accusing Brock of Fruit Collection Destruction, serious charges that immediately sent Brock to jail. Brock got off easy, but Eric and Jeremiah were sentence to life cleaning public toilets. It was about this time that Isaac was spotted by a Coca-cola of Jupiter representative, who immediately signed him to a contract thanks to Brock's unbridled enthusiasm.

Brock is responsible for the following flavors of Coca-cola of Jupiter soft-drinks:

  • Ocean Soda (The Original Soda)
  • Diet Ocean
  • Ocean 2
  • New Ocean
  • Cherry Ocean
  • Vanilla Ocean
  • Debaser Ocean
  • Diet New Ocean
  • Diet Cherry Ocean
  • Diet Vanilla Ocean
  • New Diet Cherry Vanilla Debaser Ocean
  • Cockroach Soda
  • Xtreme Cockroach Soda
  • Invisible Cockroach Soda
  • Dirt Energy Drink
  • Lemon-scented Dirt Energy Drink
  • Relig-Ion Infused Dirt
  • Bu-Cola-Ski
  • Shit Luck - Refreshing Lime Flavor
  • Shit Luck - Refreshing Pineapple Flavor
  • Lemonade
  • Brockorade

Useless Information[edit]

  • He's slightly fat
  • He hath a lithp
  • More people choose Brock than any other atheist.