Jack Cain's The Count of Monte Cristo
Jack Cain's The Count of Monte Cristo......in five minutes.
WARNING: Do not read this if you are not familiar with the original story, which is very good. Reading this will spoil the entire plot and ruin the book/movie/etc version of "The Count of Monte Cristo" you may see in the future.
Edmond: YEAH! MY LIFE ROCKS!
Ferdnand: asshole.... *twitch* HEY! *points at edmond* THIS GUY IS A SPY FOR NAPOLEON!
Edmond: *is arrested* wtf, bitch? o_o;;
Mercedes(edmond's pussy, not a car): T_T nooo........
Ferdnand: *tackles mercedes* Y HALO THAR! BUTTSECKS?
Edmond: *In prision* fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck T_T.........
Old man: *grins at edmond*
Edmond: NO BUTTSECKS! *screams*
Old Man: No, here, im going to teach you how to read, write, do math, fence and a lot of other cool shit.
Edmond: o_o ......better you than the warden
Warden: *grins and cracks a whip* YOU ARE ALL MY BITCHES!
15 years or so have passed since edmond was imprisoned
Old Man: Im dying, take this map.
Old Man: Theres a fortune in gold.
Edmond: *escapes, gets adopted by pirates*
Edmond: *finds the gold* o_o w00t!
Edmond: Im the count of monte cristo now, AND YOU ARE ALL MY BITCHES!
Ferdnand: tra la la! *runs around with whores, duels people for there money like the one guy from dominic deegan and gambles*
Mercedes: T_T why did i marry this prick......?
Albert: HI MOM! *has black hair like edmond, while ferdnand has blonde hair*
Mercedes: .......oh right.......
Count: *saves alberts life*
Albert: o_o will you be my friend?
Albert: Its my birthday, come to my house!
Count: *shows up at albert's house*
Ferdnand: yeah, thats nice. *ignores everyone*
Mercedes: o_o edmond *glomp* FUCK MEEEE!!!
Count: revenge first, buttsecks later.
Count: *strips ferdnand of all his money*
Ferdnand: FUCK >_<
Albert: Dont kill my dad. please T_T
Mercedes: Oh, no, albert, the count is actuly your father.
Edmond, Ferdnand and Albert: wtf, bitch? o_o
Ferdnand: *twitch* ASSHOLE! *attacks edmond*
Ferdnand: YARGH! *dies*
And then everyone lived happily ever after! ^_^