James Bernardi

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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about James Bernardi.

==Creation of Bernardi==


Not much is known about Bernardi's childhood before his creation and the time spent he spends meditating, and having HOURS AND HOURS OF HOT PASSIONITE SEX!, either because anyone around during that time is dead or biographers asking Bernardi about his childhood have died for some reason. There are many theories as to how he came into existence. Some think that he was born feet first so he could hide the masterpeice that is his face and so that the doctor would faint the moment he was born, while others theorize he evolved in his mother’s womb only moments after he was conceived. The most commonly accepted theory to his coming to being is that he had no mother, as crawling out of a woman's vagina is unbecoming of a man's stature. Bernardi rather spontaneously came into existence because Jesus and God wanted him to but an end to their evil religion and create Nardisim, this is no coincidence as James Bernardi is the opposite of Catholic,Muslim,Hindu,Buddist,taoist,Confusist; he is so Nardisist that when he gets interrupted during sex he gets a giant red cloud of gas from his arse to kill you.

As a child Bernardi was a shy individual, who was often tormented for his -Australian-Italiion-French-Scandanavian-German-SpawnofHitler-Scotish-Irish-Mexican-Portugese-Cuban-American-Whatever-Else-Is-Awesome-About-His background. Historians and scientists believe that James Bernardi let his anger build up inside of him until the world's gravitational power could no longer support him, resulting in a massive explosion which created the big bang. Because of this outburst, James had to attended an anger management class when he was only four. This specially designed class only had two pupils in it, him and Satan.

During his Teenage years, Nardi travelled to the Himalayas on a trip to visit his son at the Third Reich's Ancestral Research Program, after a blow to the head at the age of 14, he had become increasingly concerned with gathering crystals and girls fro something he called the Fucking Sex Capacitor, it was his belief that in those mountians law some particularyly powerful crystals capable of holding even the soul of the Great and Wonderful Josh the Wise, it would be in the deep snowy ravines of Tibet that James made his breakthrough.

Facts about Bernardi[edit]

every 5 seconds bernardi has 1 kid thats 12 kids ever minute thats 720 every hour thats 17,280 every day thats 120,960 every week thats 6,289,920 every year thats 100,638,720 so far

from those 6,289,920 children every year 2,096,640 are sold into child slavery every year from the remaining 4,193,280 children the Great, Wonderful and Smart Josh the Wise adopts 1,048,320 every year

Bernardi thinks about killing you every 5 minutes!, thats 12 times an Hour! thats 720 times a day thats 17,280 times a week, thats 120,960 times a year thats how many times you can die before you know!

bernardi is the Patron of Nardisim