James Frey

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Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about James Frey.

James Frey, like most of those who get one over on Oprah, is fucking GOD! He is the author of A Million Little Feces, published by Charmin of New York.

In the book, Frey talks of his dibilitating addiction to HOLYSHITTHEWALLSAREMELTING and Anderson Cooper's hair dye. Like most men his age, he squandered his life GETTHESPIDERSOFFOFME and attending day care without his panties on.

He tells of one horrible encounter with a dentist, four teeth, two bottles of single malt scotch, a sheep and your mom. Needless to say, it was some good bullshit.

In January of 2005, Frey was confronted with allegations that he had fabricated some of his memoir, which by then had been sodomized by Oprah and had won the Super Bowl and an Oscar for its performance as a poofy cowboy in Brokeback Mountain.

When asked whether or not these allegations were true by Oprah during an interview on her talk show, Frey admitted his guilt and was promptly encased in web by Winfrey and saved for supper.

"She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie..."[edit]

Cocaine was, seemingly, the undoing of James Frey. That and his penchant for bullshitting. He is now serving five to ten in his mother's basement, busy writing his follow-up memoir "Which Nightstand Oprah? This One?".