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Jamiraquai (Any other spelling is more correct than the actual title) is that weird band from Iraq with that really weird singer who can't score 3 hits on MTV.

Jay's favorite Scrabble tile.

That guy's the lead singer. He wears that totally weird hat and smokes 3 kilograms of hashish every day and gets high and smokes more and gets even more high (He beats Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix (combined!) at smoking large amounts of hash!). He has that weird hat screwed to his head all the time for no reason. Some people speculate that because he wears his glittery hat for such long periods of time, it has possibly grown into his skull. Others say he was born with it. (May god have mercy on his mother's soul if that's true!) He uses his hat to headbutt enemies, and to attack giant enemy crabs' weak spots... for massive damage. His arch enemy is Adam LeVine of Moron 5.

Jay's powers are many, but include some very recognisable moves, such as moving furniture around without even touching it. [1] That has earned him a degree in interior redecoration. Jay also possesses another power, and that's having multiple 'himselves' roaming around the same room doing some freaky dance, screaming out 'CHEEBA CHEEBA' for no reason. [2]

It has recently been confirmed that Jason is also a professional papparazzi slayer, as seen here. Jason has been suspected to have slayed a large number of papparazzi at Killington studios, Buckinghamshire.

Kay's love of sports cars is also quite overwhelming, as he seems to have a whole fleet of indestructible Lamborghini Diablo SEs [3] [4]. He can drive all the cars at the same time, and at the speed of sound, too. And he was never, ever caught in 1998 for speeding (111 mph) by the cops or got his license suspended. [5] Never ever ever. One recently acquired snapshot of Kay shows that, though he cheats on all his 52 girlfriends, he finds time to often have sex with his sports cars.

Kay is also known to be a guy of quite a bouncy nature. [6] He is also known as a hermaphrodite, a lesbian, and a treehugger. He's also Rasta.


On Kay[edit]

“Ugly as a rat's ass, but sings 1,000 times better than you.”


~ Paparazzi on Jay Kay


“That's copyright infrigement!”

~ Steve Ballmer on Jason Kay's use of 'Fucking kill' in the video above

By Kay[edit]


~ Jason Kay on Crack


~ Jason Kay on Monkeyboy Ballmer

“Haha, motherfucker, you missed!”

~ JK on Crack, yet again

The rest of the band[edit]

Not worthy mentioning, except for Stuart Zender, because everybody whines about how he left the band in 1999 after recording Mainstreamnized.



Limited Edition "Emergency On Planet skirt" was renamed "Emergency On planet Smurf" as it was generally agreed as a more appropriate name by the band.

Track Listing

1. When you've got heart burn

2. Too young to go to Shanghai

3. Recooked cup

4. If i pike it, it's mine!

5. Music From my behind

6. Emergency on planet Smurf (Feat. Papa Smurf)

7. Whatever it is i shant stop

8. Blow mankind

9. Pollution 1993

10.Pidgeon or trout


  • None that were sueccessful [In the US at least). ):
  • "That stupid promo CD everybody wants" (Reissued every year since 1992)


  • Look at me smoking three tons of CHEEBA CHEEBA! in Verona, while it's raining! (Rated "R" for hidden flatulence [Think: Hot Coffee ]
  • Look at me! I can sing! COOOL!
  • My homemade porno! (Private videos of Jason washing his Lamborghini Diablo SE)
  • "I'm a loner-stoner" (2002) live DVD

See Also[edit]