Jealousy

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Also known as "Stay-away-from-my-stuff"-syndrome[edit]

Through the years an unlimited number of scientists have tried to answer the ultimate question: What is Jealousy, and what does he want? And yes, you read it right, many scientist believe that Jealousy comes from what they like to describe as an "Upinanalus".

“I'm jealous of your dildo”

An Upinanalus differs from lots of other creatures by having absolutely no atomic order, it can, so to speak, be very very large or very very small; it is all measured in the distance between the different fractions. An Upinanalus is a parasite and lives inside people's brains where it feeds from the energy that is created inside these areas (people like George W. Bush have nothing to fear). The parasite registers everything that makes the brain feel happy or sad and uses this to its advantage. Happy thoughts tend to deliver more energy, so it is crucial for the parasite to have its owner think positive. When a problem, like a rival, enters a relationship, a lot of bad feelings come if the relationship is broken. So the Upinanalus work as hard as it can to keep the couple together and thereby keeping the happy mood. An Upinanalus can be inside an unlimited number of people at the same time.

The cure[edit]

There is no cure against the Upinanalus, but some people believe that you can shake the Upinanalus out of your head by thinking so strongly about something good that the energy-boost will destroy the parasite (and sometimes your own head..).

The Bad stuff[edit]

The bad thing about having an Upinanalus is that it sometimes won't hesitate to do crazy stuff to keep the body it has invaded happy. There are several incidences of people killing each other with knives, guns, bazookas, nosesprays, lollipops, chainsaws and mixed fruit.