Jessica Albasaurus

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Man, I dun wanna sound sick or nu'in but goddamn. If I hadn't, like, done it already, i'd so knock one out.
"Mmm, I wouldn't kick you outta bed for eating crackers."
That Guy from Aerosmith.

“As she gently caressed my nipples and visciously nibbled at my jugular, I couldn't help but think that I must have been sent an angel”

~ Polygremlin on Jessica Albasaurus


Jessica Alba had sex with that guy from Aerosmith and 9 months later out popped this little bundle of semi-joy. She's a paper-bagger for sure, but just look at that physique. I SAID LOOOK!!!

“Giving birth to a dinosaur is no easy task let me tell you. And I've screwed black men.”

~ Jessica Alba on Dinosaur Childbirth

So all of you Albamaniacs are now cringing at the thought of Jessica Alba crowning a green, scaly monster from the stone age. Grow up. You all know that one day she's gonna grow old and probably shit out her own rectum. Big deal. It's inevitable. 8 year olds, now that's where the real action's at. I'm gonna get me somma dat, eh?


Stunning. Perfect. Gorgeous. Infected.

You may ask why in the world anyone would make love to the guy from Areosmith. I mean, hey...I would. But there's a whole lotta Freud to learn before we can even get started with why. And it still doesn't answer my question. I put it to you that he's a 70 year old virgin. Yep, you heard me A SEVENTY YEAR OLD VIRGIN. Look at Liv Tyler for Christ's sake. Surely something as gorgeous as that couldn't be the offspring of guy from aerosmith. Impossible. He looks like one of those fucking evil looking fish you can only find if you go, like, 70 hundred feet under water where it's ok to be hideous because no one can see you. Fuck guy from aerosmith. Fuck him now before it's too late.


Stunning. Perfect. Gorgeous. Now I'm Infected.


Jessica Albasaurus is hot.

'Nuff said.