Jewsy Jews

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“I love Jewsy Jews! It's my favorite anti-Semitic drink!”

~ Hitler on Jewsy Jews

Jewsy Jews is a fruit juice drink manufactured in Auschwitz, Germany in the 1930's. It was most popular among young children, because it tasted good, while simultaneously pleasing their mothers for having one whole serving of real fruit Jews.

Manufacturing[edit]

File:Mess queue.jpg
Some of the Jewsy Jews employees. They are on break taking a nap. They are not dead.

The Jewsy Jews manufacturing plants employed mainly minority groups, specifically Jewish people. It was the hope of the owners that all Jewish people would be able to be easily find work.

The biggest problem that the manufacturing company ran into was that the workers would often disappear, and never be found again. This inexplicable abnormality was solved by simply getting more employees to replace them. Jewsy Jews was one of the most successful manufacturers in all of Germany until the company was shut down due to poor management skills. The remains of the plants are still there today for anyone to visit.

Product[edit]

Jewsy Jews is healthy and delicious. It is good for children of all ages. The steps for making it are simple. First, we take some fruit, and crush it into a pulp. Then we filter the pulp, and run the liquid into a machine where we add sugar and water.

Then we package it, and send it to stores for children everywhere to enjoy.

Ingredients:

  • Crushed Fruit
  • High Fructose Corn Syrup
  • Water
  • Cane Sugar
  • Food Coloring

Popularity[edit]

Jewsy Jews is the most popular kids drink in Germany! It has received ringing endorsements from Chancellor Adolf Hitler and several others. Even Joseph Stalin loves it, and he's our enemy! It is outlawed in Poland for some strange reason, however...

Anyways, drink Jewsy Jews! It's the best!