“Jiiiiggahlyyy puufff, jiggahlyyyyy puffff.”
“Clefafafafa! Fairy, clefairy!”
“Puff? PUFF! Jiggly jigg ji pah jigglypuff, jiggly puff jah!”
Jigglypuff is a little chode type Pokemon from the Pokemon series. It is one of the most recognized Pokemon, thanks to its frequent attention whoring in the anime. It evolves from Igglybuff after being force-fed Rare Candies, and evolves into Wigglytuff upon being sensually rubbed against a Moon Stone.
A Jigglypuff sports two cat-like ears, as well as two enormous eyes. It also has a prominent, phallic curl on its forehead. Jigglypuff has criticized accusations of being a literal dickhead for their insensitivity toward cancer patients, claiming that its curl is in fact a malignant tumor.
Jigglypuff have been observed to become very aggressive upon contact with a Clefairy. Each year, there are approximately 1,643 reports of injuries and fatalities resulting from the rivalry between the two Pokemon. In fact, two opposing gangs, known as the Jigglybloods and the Clefairy Crips have risen out of the conflict between the two species of Pokemon.
Jigglypuff feed on small birds and mammals such as Spearow and Rattata, but will mainly be found munching down on silicon and glue.
Jigglypuff's favorite beverage is Niquil on the rocks.
In the video games
Jigglypuff made its debut in Pokemon Red and Blue. Residing deep in the lush grass in the shade of Mt. Moon, these rare Pokemon lived off of Spearow and other small mammals that also roamed the region. In the later Pokemon games, the Jigglypuff introduced new species of Pokemon to their diets, including Pichu and Swablu. Despite its ferociously gruesome appetite, Pokemon trainers have dismissed Jigglypuff as a weak and useless Pokemon.
They were clearly mistaken. While these trainers might only notice its cute, squishy exterior, Jigglypuff is in fact a formidable fighter in the Super Smash Bros. series. Revealed to be Sylvester Stallone's legendary brother, Jigglypuff, also affectionately referred to as "Rambopuff", was responsible for the downfall of Giga Bowser in Super Smash Bros. Melee when it sent the gigantic Koopa flying by merely falling asleep. In Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Jigglypuff learned a move called Puff Up as its Final Smash attack, which enables Jigglypuff to inflate itself by approximately 1,000 times its normal size and thus cover up the entire screen. The Eldin Bridge stage in particular possesses mysterious qualities that lead to gigantic mutated forms of Jigglypuff called Gigalypuff.
In the anime
In the Pokemon animated series, Jigglypuff would frequently stalk Ash Ketchum and his friends so that it could get them to listen to its newest hit single, "Gettin' Jiggly Wit It." However, since the group had no sense for music, they would always fall asleep, which caused Jigglypuff to inflate furiously. Unwilling to put up with their bullshit, Jigglypuff eventually got out its M60 machine gun and attempted to shoot them. Thanks to the efforts of soccer moms everywhere, however, it was instead forced to scribble on their faces with a marker it stole from Ash. Permanent marker, that is. As a consequence of constantly being canvases for Jigglypuff's "works of art," Ash and the group frequently had to undergo plastic surgeries at the local Pokemon Center. Unfortunately for Ash, however, he was unable to fully recover from the markings which had left scars on his face (you know, those little zigzags on his cheeks). Due to these scars, Ash has often been lauded as the "Harry Potter of Pokemon."
Jigglypuff hates this here article and he has scribbled over it.
Jigglypuff reached the height of media attention when she was revealed to have been stalked by (not known at the time) Ronald McDonald. During the period of crime, she received threatening letters, pumpkins with knives in them, decapitated Meowth heads, and shoe boxes filled with feces. At the climax of the incident, Ronald McDonald broke into her mansion and preceded to severley beat her with a Happy Meal and a giant french fry. The fight ended when Jigglypuff finally shot Ronald in the rectus femoris with her machine gun. Ronald spent a week in the ICU while Jigglypuff was treated for a deflated arm, scratched cornea and severed ear. Jigglypuff revealed in the December 2009 issue of the Johto Gazette that she had been suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder since the incident and has developed a fear of oversized french fries and deranged clowns with no actual clowning ability.
In an interview with news reporters Gabby & Ty, Ash Ketchum commented on the incident: "That little ball of shit deserved it for constantly harassing me throughout the first few seasons of this show. All I can say is, bitch got owned."
Upon creating Jigglypuff, Pokemon artist Ken Sugimori decided to give the Pokemon an evolutionary form as well. The resulting rabbit-beanbag hybrid became to be known as Wigglytuff.
In Generation II, it was found that Jigglypuff has an infantile form called Igglybuff. Igglybuff are very light and elastic, making them very useful as condoms. Later on, a new evolutionary form was discovered and had become surprisingly more popular than all three original members of the Jigglypuff family combined. This final singing Pokemon is called Hilary Duff.
Also, through blood testing it was discovered that if fed a steady diet of human babies and steroids, Jigglypuff quickly evolves into Igglybuff, then eventually evolves into Majin Buu, then Kid Buu, then that big buff Buu, then becomes depressed, then gets fat and finally is the big fat Buu again from the Dragon Ball Z series.
Recognized across the Pokemon universe for its charming song, Jigglypuff's image was adopted to symbolize the entertainment industry. However, due to sexual connotations of its appearance, Jigglypuff is simultaneously the leading mascot of sex shop products and services. Jigglypuff are also commonly-seen accessories in urban cities, where they make handy substitutes for chloroform.
In 2008, Jigglypuff was awarded an Award for Excellence by the Kanto Cancer Society for her active contributions in battling cancer. In response to being awarded with the honor, Jigglypuff gave a tearful speech:
"Jigguu, pah puff ... jiggly jigglypuff. Ji jigg puuu jigglypahh puff. Puff, puffu jiggly jeh, ji jigglypah, fuu jiggly jigglypuff; jigg puff ... Jiggly jigglypuff, ji puufuu jeh, pah ... jiggly puff pahf. Jigg jigg ... jigglypuff, jigguu puuuff, puff jiggly ji jig fuu. Fuupuu, puff jigg ji puffu. Puff? Jigglypuff? Jigg ji puff pah ji pah puff. Jigglypah fuu pah jeh! Jigg ji jiggly! ... Jiggleh, peh boob jigg; jiggly jigg puff fuupah. Puffu jeh ji jig jigglypuff. Jiggly fuu pah puff. Jigglypuff, jigglypuff ji puff. Puff pah puff ji. Jigguu jigg pah, jigg puff jigglypah pa jigg fuu jigguu. Jiggly pah pahff. Puff, jigglypuff. Jiggly."
Jigglypuff are like boobs, due to the fact that they are jiggly and puffy. Found by my friend.
In conclusion, Jigglypuff are adorable Pokemon that make perfect accessories for any household. In fact, a Jigglypuff may been near within your range right now. Turn off all sounds and listen very carefully, and you may be a-able...to hh-heeear...itsszz.....zzz...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
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