Jihad for Dummies
“Dummy - u - Akbar!!!”
Jihad for Dummies is the best-selling book in the Middle East, with only The Ramadan Diet: How to loose 40 pounds in 40 days! and Submit, My Burqa-Clade Women temporarily topping JFD in total volume of sales. JFD offers an introductions in the basics of conducting a jihad, from how to recruit impressionable and angry young Muslim men over the Internet to instructions on making your own beheading video. The book offers ample advice on what is the appropriate attire to go to a suicide bombing (as Allah only allows the fashionably dress to enter into heaven and enjoy its 72 "virgins") as well as tips on how to avoid common faux paus a inexperienced terrorist when hijacking an airliner. JFD is the classic text on conducting a jihad for even the most exacting tastes of Allah, and is enjoyable for all ages, as it is never too young to be martyred in the name of Allah.
just to make sure you dont get confused we are on about lesser jihad, a common mistake in the west to get confused because there are two parts to one concept First, you must hate America!!! The West is the enemy, the heathenous infidel, and they must be brought down!!!!
You must submit to Allah at all times and force all others to do so as well, the thought of someone Not Doing So should cause you to start killing.
You will need some weapons. If you chose an AK-47 you are a pussy. An M16 is too puny too, so I would reccomend that you nab an RPG from The Infidel Army. If unable to perform said task, you should fucking kill yourself, for you are unworthy in the eyes of Allah.
Next, you should enter an area full of infidels, I would reccomend public transportation in a large American city at 8:30. There, you will detonate the bombs strapped to your body in the name of Allah!!! Then in heaven, you will be rewarded as the infidels burn in hell!!!!!