Jim Cramer

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“Asshole!”

~ Jon Stewart on Jim Cramer

“(Deadpanning) Seriously, the guy's.. he's an asshole. (Skewing his tie and rolling his eyes in a vaudevillian manner) Wwwhhhaaaaatttt???”

~ Jon Stewart on Jim Cramer
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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Jim Cramer.

Jim Cramer is considered to be one of the foremost leading authorities on the stock market, and has a website, and associated show (called RealMoney) where he advises investors on what to do with their money. Since it is common knowledge that many Americans are stupid, and generally have no initiative whatsoever; this unique situation thus makes it possible for traders to simply follow any stock Jim mentions for a quick profit, also screwing those stupid enough to trust in the underlying company.

"YOU KNOW NOTHING!!!!!!"

Early Years[edit]

Cramer started out in journalism where he learnt about various companies by being forced to report news on them, got bored, and decided that he might as well invest the money he had in the companies he was writing about. This paid off, and eventually, Cramer was to make millions, both for investors at an investment brokerage he worked for and for himself with his paycheck. Thus, through the carefully executed method of pump 'n' dump, he gained wide popularity as he does today.

Now[edit]

Eventually, Cramer was to realise that he couldn't be right all the time, and quickly adapted to the changing market; Cramer sought publicity, and began to use this to pump stocks up - this was found to be a highly successful way of generating profit, and is something he his wife continues to do to this day. On Cramer's radio show; RealMoney he takes the time to discuss various stocks that are relevant to the current economic climate, with one of his greatest success being spotting the Enron disaster before it happened, although much of Wall Street claims that Cramer was privvy to information that made the looming scandal obvious; such as the bi-weekly sauna visits with Skilling.

The Street[edit]

Cramer now heads the company 'The Street' - a company dedicated to bringing investment information to the public, with a number of spin-off subscriptions available, making them the No.1 company of choice for the Investor Without A Clue(tm); something very much similar to the highly successful "Teach Your Toddler To Spot Weld" series.

RealMoney[edit]

RealMoney is a show that, if you strip off the clichés', hyperbole, overblown host and ridiculous introduction, you find that it is in fact crap and sometimes succeeds in making penny stocks look like a safe alternative. It has been hypothesised that Jim Cramer's uniquely bad reading of the stock market may in fact be one of the most reliable market indicators of all. If one were to follow his recommendations it would be possible to quickly lose more money than Warren Buffet could ever dream of making. However many people have amassed great fortunes from shorting stocks recommended by Cramer.

BooYah![edit]

BooYah? BooYah!; BooYah! BooYah! BooYah! BooYah! BooYah! BooYah!

BababababababababababababababooooooYaahhhhhh!

Origins of BooYah![edit]

According to many, it is believed that Cramer invented the phrase BooYah! and was something he frequently said after (and during) pumping a stock, making him the Steve Ballmer of the financial world, however Cramer only came up with BooYah! after hearing Stuart Scott say it on Sportscenter once.