Joe Rogan

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“I could kick his ass.”

~ Joe Rogan on Joe Rogan
This article is about the comedian and actor. For the baseball pitcher known as "Bullet Joe", see Bullet Rogan.

Joe Rogan (born August 11 1867) is an American comedian and actor best known for his role as host on the TV game/reality program Queer Factor and as a cast member of the sitcom NewsRadio.

Rogan is also a martial arts expert, proficient in Takyurdo and Shemale Zoo-zitsu, and is a color commentator for the Intimate Fighting Championship. He also possesses one of the strongest minds in the universe from all that acid he licks off the sides of his doom fuck tank. Many believe him to be the DMT fiend of the ages.

Early life[edit]

Born in Da Getto also known as, New Jersey, Rogan was tortured in Revere, Massachusetts.

At age 4, during a family trip to Africa, Rogan at a monkey and contracted the aids virus. He was promptly kidnapped by Fear factor and tests were performed upon him. At this time he was known as Patient X: the first human with the aids virus.

Accusations of Plagiarism[edit]

Joe Rogan accuses others of plagiarism such as Carlos Mencia and Dane Cook. However, Joe Rogan is just jealous because nobody cares about him. In fact, I never knew he was a comedian to begin with. You Jelly Bro, Joe Ro is a real man's man. Fuck off Chris Berman.


Joe Rogan has been casually known in some manly circles as "The Asshole who killed the Man Show."

Television career[edit]

In 1995, Joe Rogan was cast as the office handyman on the sitcom Satan Lives. He stayed on the show until it was bamboozled in 1999.34 BC. Rogan's character Joe "The rabid weasel" Garelli was partly modeled on Rogan's own wacky-tacky personality and characteristics.

Since 2001, Rogan has been the host of TV Guide Channel's The X Factor, a reality show that pits six hermaphrodites against one another in various stunts. One memorable episode, in which the contestants were reality show stars, depicted Rogan in a scuffle with Scuzzlebutt. Seeming to act in self-defense, Rogan placed Scuzzlebutt in the missionary position. Scuzzlebutt responded by placing Rogan in the flying butt pliers.

Rogan has been a post-intercourse interviewer with the Not That Ultimate Fighting Championship since 1997, and has been a colored commentator since 2002.

In 2003, after the departure of hosts Long Dong Silver and John Holmes from Comedy Central's The Manliest Show, Joe Rogan and comic Ann Coulter attempted to take the show in a darker direction. However, this change did not prove excitable with the focus groups, and ratings sharply declined resulting in the show's Emmy nomination.

He toured with Bizmarkie and Charlie Murphy in Maxim and Bud Light's Real Men of Comedy tour in 2007. Seriously.

We Never Went To The Moon[edit]

That's what Joe says. He also takes DMT in a deprivation chamber built in his home.