Johnathan Huang

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Jonathan C. Huang!».
Huang, pre-menstrual breakdown
Date of birth 19 October, 1951
Place of birth Department of Royalty,
sure made a mess there.

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Jonathan Huang?

Johnathan "Johnny Jones" Chronarion Huang-Nihga (born 19 October, 1951) is a Czech-Vietnamese finger painter, baker, musician, humorologist, urologist and Wikimaker. It is also a well-known fact, that Huang is 0.001% British, 0.0001% Jewish and 83% Anikeyise.

Born in the late World War II, in fact, too late for it, Johnathan is best known for inventing the Wireless (WiFi 2.3[1]) Needle Injector, and a handbag to match it. He also made Uncyclopedia, a small country located somewhere in Antarctica, yet, as most people have no humane reason to go to Antarctica, they just go through the Web Portal.

It is a small-known fact, that Huang is the last survivor of the Huang family. Please see below for details[2]. His family whom precedes Johnathan, the Huang and Nihga families (Czech and Vietnamese, respectively) go far to the lines of 18th century Egypt.


Huang's mother was a Vietnamese-Dutch hockey player, and a Czech-Japanese basketball champion, named James and Amerigo, in descending order (disrespectively).

Early childhood[edit]

In early childhood, James was a crib and he was sheltering a baby. However, he drank a polyjuice potion made from the baby's hair, transforming into the baby. He then dumped the baby in the woods. That baby grew up to be Heracles. He took the baby's place from that day onwards. He mated with another crib that gave birth to another crib. Unfortunately, his wife and son were eaten by termites, as they were made of wood. At the time, he was only 2 months old since his species is sexually mature by 2 months after birth.

Later childhood[edit]

James' father was hit in the head with a baseball, while playing on a NeXT DoG video game console and rhyming "Firefox" with "Beatrix LeBron". This unlikely series of events was only possible by a chance of 2 to the power of 235915912 against, which, by a staggering coincidence, was also the telephone number of the misspelled "Sperm" whale, that everyone's been talking about.

After this firestorm of total ridiculous events, Huang went to no University in particular, for having vertigo. He claimed that it was a rare case of "Cham-Bham-Whammo's Vertigo Deluxe (Demo Version)", which was also not referred in any medical encyclopedias or collective books. It was also never recorded[3], or heard about, nor ever even being given the possibility rate of it ever forming. Later research, however, claimed that the possibility is 1 to the power of 241941244234923 etc. against. It was also the day the third[4] known infinite number with logic had been discovered.

Living with parents[edit]

Having to live parents is like having to have sex with AIDS, meaning that it is overkill. Until Huang was taught of birds and the bees (sometimes the butterflies too, but that's another story), he lived with his parents in the royal basement. It was full of wine, if anyone's wondering.

He was never told of fucking and reproduction[5], as he was unable to be impregnated, due to the lack of a uterus. His dick sure as fuck was not unable to provide the Earth with any children.

For his mother's birthday, he was able to buy a large horny kitten. It raped her to the death. Amerigo Huang died of many, many, painful orgasms. And a kitten.

Family tree[edit]

Jonathan Huang
James Ngo [D] + Amerigo Huang [D]
Pizza Shitz Nihgo [D] + Joseph van Damn [D] / Clicko Picko [D] + Jay Leonard Huang [D]


  1. The Needle Injector has 2.3! - BBC 20 August, 2001
  2. Batteries sold separately.
  3. Error 404
  4. Jay Leno's chin size was the second
  5. Which is like fucking, but without previous children.

See also[edit]