Joshua Jackpot

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Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg I was blocked from Uncyclopedia, and all I got was this lousy template!
Joshua Jackpot has been blocked from Uncyclopedia for misconduct. May its sad fate serve as a warning to others.
Make Uncyclopedia better, not worse. Stop the cycle of violins.

“It's people like this who give identity fraud a bad name!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Joshua Jackpot

JJ himself[edit]

Could this be Joshua Jackpot?

The emo-turned-scene-kid, Joshua Jackpot (sometimes known as 'Jacpot' for short), is most famous for his 2013 autobiography, 'Zero to Ghey', in which he revealed all the truth about his life as a goat seller. This book shot him to the lowest of the low, as it turned out to be a Maths textbook in disguise, something the entire Emo/Goth/Malawian/Scene community took immediate offence to, as it is common knowledge that Maths is like having blood-free wrists, but one hundred times worse.

Nevertheless, Joshua Jackpot is revered as a higher God than J.K. Rowling himself.

Humble Beginnings[edit]

Could THIS be Joshua Jackpot?

Jackpot was born before the birth of time, as a warrior-house-elf with 9 types of iPod built in to his disgrace of a foot. He grew up a peaceful lad, and his parents always made sure they were feeding him lots of sugar to make his disgrace of a foot drop off. This never happened.

The Incident[edit]

After listening to some Panic! At The Disco, Jackpot realised life just couldn't get much worse. He hated life. He hated himself. He hated his parents. He hated his sister. He hated his brother. He hated his friends. He hated his teachers. He hated his MP. He hated his prime minister. He hated TV people. He hated film people. He hated all people. And he especially hated McFly.

Then he turned emo.

COULD THIS be Joshua Jackpot??1*??


~ Oscar Wilde on the horrific turn of events just described

Oh my gaaaazzz, yes.

“In Soviet Russia, emo turns YOU!!!

The Shining (not the film)[edit]


or just read a book like a normal little nerd.