Julia Morris

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Julia Morris

Julia Morris is the reason why incest is illegal. If you find Julia Morris to be funny, you need to slash your own wrists now, for help on how to do that, click here. Julia is one of Australia's leading fuckless wonders. Her pig ugly face has made men want to puke for over 2 decades now! she is the type of woman you wouldn't fuck on a footy trip. She came to fame piss everyone off with her annoying, can't act for shit, antics in 1994 when she was cast on the Australian comedy sketch show "Full Frontal" and was the reason such classic characters such as Eric Bana's "Poida" and Shaun Macalifs, "Milo Kerrigan" are no longer remembered due to so many people throwing beer bottles at the TV whenever Julia came on to the scene to fuck the entire thing up.

A Pig Is Born[edit]

We wouldn't root her! We're not that fuckin' sick!

~ Hells Angels on Sex with Julia Morris

During a running of the bulls in Madrid in 1977, a bull managed to escape the event and find it's way into a warthogs nest. Whilst in the nest it raped all the warthogs using the manure and shit laying around in the pen as a lubricant to ease it's way into the 6 warthogs arses. That was the day Julia was conceived and was born through the elementary canal of a fully retarded warthog 9 months later. Julie dropped straight from her mothers anus and into a steaming fresh hot pile of cow shit. It's believed what little brains she was born with popped out one side of her ear as she fell ear first into the manure, causing the manure to enter her head via her left ear, while her brains flowed out her right.

Julia was raised on the farm with the other pigs until even the live stock on the farm wouldn't have anything to do with her anymore. So she hitched a ride in a Pelicans bum and migrated to Australia. She was crapped out of the birds arse and into the heart of the shit that's known as Channel 9 Sydney where she seemed to fit right in with the other turds like Ray Martin & Richard Wilkins to become part of the all-star cast of over-flowing anal seepage disembarking from the Channel 9's talent pool.

Acting Shithouse Career[edit]

Julia Morris seen in the background of this picture

Full Frontal[edit]

She bought herself a dildo once, but she couldn't make it stiff

~ Richard Wilkins on something only he'd be fucked enough in the head to care about knowing

For many years in Australia there have been great sketch comedy shows, since the early day's of The Paul Hogan Show, to the unforgettable characters of The Comedy Company... then there was Fast Forward, a great show in it's own right, but due to copyright laws, when the show switched from 7 to 9, the name had to change, and so did many of the cast members. Now named "Full Frontal" it had a slow start, but small time names started becoming nation wide stars over night... the show was a big hit all around Australia, and it was one of the top rating programs of the time.

Then someone had the bone-head idea to cast possibly the biggest dickhead known to mankind as part of the main ensemble. Julia "Fuckhead" Morris appeared on the show and never did a damn thing that was even remotely funny. Her annoying stupid laugh and her pig faced wide eyes disgusted viewers all over the nation in nothing but puerile disgust. Even classic characters like "Poida" couldn't make this talentless fat cow seem funny. The Australian public protested that such an ugly looking, talentless bimbo be stricken from the air or sent to the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Channel) where no one would ever notice she was still on television again.

The show then came to an end and was sold to Channel 10 where again it had to change it's name to "Totally Full Frontal" but thank fuck they never enlisted Julia Morris. Julia was sent away to be a prop of horse manure on episodes of Burkes Backyard.

Julia Appearing on Good News Week

In Hellbourne Tonight[edit]

Take a sample of Julia Morris' D.N.A if you ever wanna construct your own fuckwit at home

~ Dr Frankenstein

In 1998 Julia found herself as the co-host to In Melbourne Tonight, the host hose of the show Frankie J. Holden Manaro Ute couldn't figure out why the shows ratings where dropping when Julia came on board. It was revealed Franky was a chronic masturbater and after he admitted his addiction in a live press conference, he went into re-hab where his optic nerves where treated and he received contact lenses. Upon his release he realized his co-host was somewhat vaguely human and she/it was the reason the show's success was going down the toilet. So he fired Julia, but her rotten stench haunted the channel 9 studios so badly the show was eventually canceled after too many audience members demanded refunds for the place smelling too much like a steaming pile of Julia.

Good News Week[edit]

The stalk that brought her should be shot for smuggling dope

The long running game/fun show Good News Week is one of Australia's best sources for television comedy & entertainment. But not everything GNW produces is gold, sometimes they have off nights and things just are not considered humorous enough for their reputation. So they insert shot's of Julia Morris as part of the show so people will blame her for being the reason the jokes suck that night. No one has caught onto the scam yet, or at least if they do, it's always accepted that Julia is the reason something is just not funny in anyway shape or form.

Julia & Richard Wilkins together on the TV show Dancing With The Retarded Peaces Of Shit
Typical Reaction to claims Julia is going to spread for Penthouse Magazine

Julia Today[edit]

Give her a game show to host, she'd be her own fucking challenger

~ Tony Barber

Julia occasionally pops up on TV just to prove the point that just when you think someone can't get any fucking uglier, she will defy the laws of physics every single time.

Julia's Link To Al-Qaeda[edit]

Her face reminds me of a Buffalo taking a shit in a bowl of M&M's

~ Max Walker

Julia actually has done some good for the world. During Al-Qaeda's 2003 tour of Australia, they met Julia Morris in person, and got to see what a real virgin looks like.
So they're not so keen now to blow themselves up to be rewarded with 50 versions of Julia Morris and Susan Boyle.

Related Links[edit]

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