Julius Pringles

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

“Whoa! That guy had problems!”

~ Julius Pringles on Julius Pringles

“His main problem was that once he popped he just couldn't stop!”

~ Paul McKenna on Julius Pringles's autobiography

“His name sounds Russian, but he sure looks Italian to me.”

~ Margaret Mead on the roots of Julius Pringles
Julius Pringles

Julius Pringles is the guy on the Pringle packets. Look any Pringle packet and he will be there. He is well known for his 7 inch moustache and his dangerous past addiction to Pringles. The moustache is rumoured to be there to hide his Pringle-eating scars. Nowadays he's on the Pringle packets to advise people to not try them with his quote "once you pop you just can't stop."

Birth and childhood[edit]

Julius was born in on September the 19th 1967 with the healthy weight of 7.5 lbs. He had extremely elevated levels of testosterone by the age of 10 and by 13 had a MASSIVE moustache. He finished school with 4 O levels (now referred to as GCSEs) and went on to be a builder.

His early years (1988)[edit]

By the time he was 21, Julius was growing weary of his building profession and quit in order to make some new crisps that come in tubes and are funny shapes. Eventually, after considering it for a few days, he quit his building career forever and sent a prototype Pringle to Walkers. He got no response. He tried KP and they said they would give it a go. Soon after his crisp had been widely considered as 'ok I guess...', he found that he had developed a Pringle-eating habit and it was endangering his life.

Pringle addiction (1989 - 1993)[edit]

About one year after Julius's Pringles had been put on the market he attended rehabilitation for a Pringle addiction he seemed to have developed. He was hardly new to drugs as in 1989 it was revealed he had a heroine addiction. Julius attended many rehabilitation clinics with no good effect. At one point it is rumoured he was ingesting up to 9 tubes of Pringles a day. With no other resorts doctors prescribed him another drug in hopes to end his Pringle problems. The drug (known as dijuice oxide) had no nasty side effects apart from the total dependency to it.

File:Pringles begging.jpg

Recent Life (1993 - Present)[edit]

After eliminating his Pringle problem Julius worked on the product which bought him so much misery in order to make a lot of money. He was the leader of Pringles Inc until he retired as quoted "I have millions of pounds and a happy life, i dont need anything else."

When he returned home an angry crowd was there in protest. The truth dawned on Julius and realised he had made millions of people addicted to this delicious potato chip product. It was then (1998) when he decided that Pringles had gone too far. He attempted to shut Pringle Inc down but he was no longer leader so he came up with a compromise; they could still produce the Pringles as long as he could demote the addictive qualities. It is this where cigarette packets got their idea.

Current life[edit]

As well as demoting the misuse of Pringles, Julius is possibly one of the biggest names in the food industry and has recently signed a contract with Laughing Cow Cheese Dippers since the cow died in early 2007 due to leukaemia. The cow’s final wishers where for his ashes to be put into a Pringles can and served as delicious, delicious seasoning.

Julius during his late adolescent years when he was part of the Pringles football squad.

Drug Demotion Quotes[edit]

The all famous "once you pop you can't stop" is known and loved all around the world but few know any of his other quotes used in his 1998 to present anti pringle escapade.

  • If you stop, you'll just go back and pop.
  • It may seem cool to pop but within a week you will want to stop.
  • If symptoms persist, discontinue popping.

External links[edit]